Dear Annie, I met Ray at a party in North Beach. We had a fun conversation, but it went no further. I found his profile on OK Cupid and initiated an email correspondence. He offered to meet me for coffee, but told me that he can’t see me on weekends because he’s saving them for someone else.
What on earth is he doing online if he’s dating someone? Why would he treat her—or me—like that? Of course, I’m not going accept his offer of a date. I want to send him an email telling him that what he is doing is wrong. What do you think? Doris
Dear Doris, All you need to do is thank him for the invitation and tell him that you’re no longer available.
Ray seems to have been honest with you all along. He didn’t pursue you when you met in person. When you connected online, he told you that he was interested in someone else. There is no point in your continuing your conversation unless you would be open to a platonic friendship.
It’s not your place to judge his behavior. You don’t know much about his situation. And, he also hasn’t asked for your opinion.
Like many others, he may be dating several people while keeping active online until he is in an exclusive relationship. What if she’s not ready to be the one and only woman in his life? Whatever is going on between them is their affair—not yours.
When a man tells you that he is involved with another woman, he’s sending you the message that he is not interested in you. It’s time for you to move on.
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