Don’t succumb to holiday stress: 7 tips for a joyous season

For many people, the holiday season is a race to perfection. There are gifts to arrange, and a bevy of projects and exhausting activities. “It is normal to feel overwhelmed. The pressure to have the perfect holiday can be extraordinary,” says Dr. Katherine Nordal, at the American Psychological Association. In addition, some people slip into depression when lonely, reunited with fractured family relationships, or when real life falls short of the vision projected by advertisers. In the backdrop, the economy has put a pinch on many wallets. All the more reason to plan in advance – by choosing which traditions to observe, you can bring bliss back into your holidays.

Planning is not about the idealizing but rather prioritizing what matters most. This may also involve talking to family in advance about expectations, and setting priorities in a way that honors reality. For instance, my friend Elisa bakes hundreds of holiday cookies each year. If she didn’t feel up to it one year, she can opt to buy cookies. Similarly, instead of mailing greetings, one can send e-cards.

According to Dr. Nordal, “It is important to put things in perspective and realize that the materialism of the holidays isn’t the real spirit of the season. The holidays are about family and togetherness, not tinsel and presents.” All of us can choose gratitude when the wish list exceeds our budget. One family in economic hardship was overjoyed to get instant ramen noodle and inexpensive coloring books for Christmas.

Here are more tips to cope with holiday stress.

1. Take time for yourself. Sometimes self-care is the best thing as others will also benefit when you’re stress- free. Go for a hike, get a massage or meet friends for games. In a program on KABC-TV, Dr. Lawrence Taw of the UCLA Center for East West Medicine says that at the end of the day a foot massage is a great way to relax. “Just roll a tennis ball beneath your foot for instant stress relief.”

2. Volunteer. With the recession, many charities need all the help they can get. Find a local charity such as a soup kitchen where your family can volunteer. Throughout the season, the Spark of Love Toy Drive will be collecting toys throughout Southern California. Helping those in real poverty may help put your own financial struggles in perspective.

3. Learn to say no. The Mayo Clinic Staff advises that saying yes when you should say no can leave you resentful and overwhelmed. For instance, if you must work overtime, lessen your other to-do list to restore balance.

4. Have realistic expectations. Broken ornaments or a burned roast won’t ruin your holiday; rather, it will create a family memory. No holiday celebration is perfect so choose flexibility, which in turn brings resilience.  

5. Emphasize Activities. More families have shifted their observances from material things to experiences that bring the family together such as ice skating, attending a holiday festival or a performance of the Nutcracker.

6. Seek support. Acknowledge your feelings if you are lacking holiday cheer. If you have anxiety, getting things out in the open can help resolve your stress.

7. Set aside differences. My tip is to try to reach out to family and friends you have issue with and try to clear the air in advance of holiday gatherings.