Dating is challenging enough without fear of losing “that loving feeling” or “dating mojo” although it happens far more often than people think; be it upon the waking up smack dab in the aftermath of a bad breakup, or swimming in the all-too-familiar pool of a dating conundrum; and even those in secure, happy and healthy relationships but whose love lives have become monotonous and lack spark.
Fortunately there is at least one tried and true method that has not only withstood even the hardest of hearts and toughest of loves since the beginning of time, but a method therapists and life coaches hold so much credence in that they continue to recommend it as part of a weekly regimen to couples and individuals alike: Date night – with “yourself.”
So what is date night and what are the benefits? Date night is another term for “me” time; a time to meet and get to know yourself. Date night is perfect for individuals and couples to pamper, relax and rejuvenate; or a time to reflect, revisit and renovate – free from all electronic devices and distractions. It’s about the rediscovery of childhood dreams and aspirations, venturing into missed or newly introduced hobbies, working toward dreams and goals; and reconnecting with your inner soul, heart, spiritual or Zen side. All too often people get caught up in life and focus on education, career and family – becoming far too accustomed to the mantra, “life just gets in the way.”
Some people find date night to be a savior where others find it a blessing; some find it the perfect time to create a "Bucket List" realizing that there’s absolutely no reason to wait until retirement to start “living” when they’re still financially and physically able to do now and should. Date night doesn’t have to be a fix-it or spoil-me night spending a fortune – in fact, it doesn't have to cost a thing. It can be about caring for yourself in ways you wouldn’t normally take the time to do from going to the gym or spa to splurging for homemade soup and out-of-this-world cinnamon rolls at your favorite neighborhood family restaurant like San Jose’s Holder’s Country Inn – where one might normally pass because they were of the belief (before date night, that is) that being a supermom meant slaving over a hot stove.
Date night isn’t just the cure-all for singles or couples – it is also the missing magic for youth and everyone in between – because people of all ages sometimes just need a few hours to “be” and breathe. It’s about remembering that for every ounce of happiness generated internally, a pound of happiness is produced that can be passed on to others.
Before long you’ll soon realize that not only do you feel like a new person, “that loving feeling” will be rekindled and that “dating mojo” jump started. You’ll soon realize that there’s more to life than “being too busy” and that there are suddenly less yesterdays and more “in the moments” with far less tears of sadness and many more moments with smiles. You’ll come to realize that the rain is no longer a killjoy but now reminiscent of a soothing waterfall that often likes to present you with a rainbow to wish upon; and that laughter, love, kindness – and date night – truly are some of life’s greatest medicines.
"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself." –Unknown
"All you need is love." –John Lennon
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