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Don't Facebook when drunk

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There’s a gallon of moonshine

Under some clothes in the trunk.

The police went right to it—walked a very straight line.

What was I thinkin’, Don’t Facebook when drunk.

Posted a pic of a twelve pointer online,

Two days before the season, talk about luck.

The Game Warden just now emailed me with my fine.

What was I thinkin’, don’t Facebook when drunk.

Some old high schools buddies took me out to the track,

Lost my paycheck and house, now where will I bunk?

OMG, I just posted my blunders, and can’t take them back?

What was I thinkin’, don’t Facebook when drunk.

I found some old letters from girlfriends long past.

Then scanned and posted them like I was some hunk.

Now ten present day husbands want my head on a mast.

What was I thinkin’, don’t Facebook when drunk.

I was texting in traffic when this car cut me off,

I gave him the finger and called him a blanket-blank punk.

My Sunday School class saw it before I took it off.

What was I thinkin’, don’t Facebook when drunk.

I called in sick and then went to play golf,

Got my first hole in one-- even heard it kaplunk!

Wrote it on everyone’s wall to include that of my boss.

What was I thinkin’, don’t Facebook when drunk.

It’s a good place for banter ‘bout your favorite teams,

And for raising online animals or a virtual skunk.

It’s even good for videos to make squeamish friends scream,

But not for thoughts unrestrained, don’t Facebook when drunk.

Now my whole life is pictured and posted, but I’m out on the street.

Got my friends, family, and some I don’t know in a terrible funk.

Every friend I once had thinks I’ll soon be dead meat.

What was I thinkin’, don’t Facebook when drunk.

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