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Don’t come to America, wink wink, but if you do, you can stay

Undocumented immigrants apprehended by border patrol
Undocumented immigrants apprehended by border patrol
U.S. Border Patrol

Read between the lines, people of the world. The United States of America is saying that if you make it here, we won’t send you home. And we’ll give you free health care; and food stamps; and housing; and we’ll help you to find a job; and we’ll educate your children. Oh yeah, and we’ll eventually give you citizenship!

So come to the United States. Risk everything—including your life. Pay whatever you have to even if you have to sell your soul to the human smugglers. But come. There are surely black market travel agencies already formed who will assist you. You will be in their debt for years to come, but, it’s the United States--it’s worth it!

Governments, listen up! Send us your poor, your sick, the dregs of your society. Empty your jails(it worked for Cuba) and send them here! Your countries economy will be truly boosted as many of your emigrants will soon be sending money back to their families that remain in your country. It’s a win, win, win situation.

Sure, some of our leaders will openly profess shock at the mass influx, but few will say to send you home. And the voices of those who do want to enforce the laws of the United States and send you home, will be drowned out by others; or ridiculed as racist; or denigrated as uncaring, callous, evil and of course, racist will be thrown in again for good measure.

So, the race is on. The race for a better life. The race for the American dream. All you have to do is get here. All you have to do is risk your life and get across the border. All you have to do is indenture your future labors to some smuggling organization.

It’s worth it. Truly it is; nobody will ever doubt that.

Sadly, everything I wrote above is true.