We all have out ‘buttons’, that cause us to ‘react’ a certain way. When your partner does something that pushes your button, your automatic response is to react to the button being pushed. When you react, you are more than likely pushing your partner’s button, they will react, and you will be trapped in a vicious cycle. Once your partner pushes your button and you react, you are both actually causing more conflict, and getting further away from the real core issue.
The only way to stop this cycle is to stop reacting! If you do not react, thus pushing your partner’s button, and so on and so on… You will have effectively stopped the vicious cycle. At that point, you can attempt effective communication. But no matter what your partner does or says, don’t react! Eventually they will get the hint that pushing your button no longer works or garners a response, and it will become pointless for them to even try.
Try to become more aware of what your ‘triggers’ are. You need to realize what causes you to react and why. You can then work on ‘not’ reacting. Once you realize why you react to certain things the way you do, it will become much easier for you to remain calm and not react to the triggers. As always, communication is the key to any healthy relationship.