Dominic Monaghan & Megan Fox in Eminem's "Love the Way You Lie" ft. Rihanna
All summer I've been processing "Love the Way You Lie" featuring Rihanna, the hit single from Eminem's Recovery album. Catchy, yes, but what does it say about domestic violence? And more importantly... what doesn't it say?
With a brutally powerful new video out this week (see below), starring Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan, the questions are back on my mind.
Rather than dish out answers I don't have, here are some questions. Please discuss:
Is Rihanna's contribution to the song meant to be a response to her assault at the hands of Chris Brown, as just about anybody listening to it might reasonably assume? Is it an act of forgiveness?
Eminem – aka Marshall Mathers, aka Slim Shady – is adept at playing characters, and at rapping from the perspective of different personae. Bringing in Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan as stand-ins for the characters in the song's video helps distance Rihanna and Eminem's own personal stories from the narrative. But still: Would you buy – or accept – an apology like the one Eminem delivers in the song? He dismisses violence – from both sides of the relationship – as "just what happens when a tornado meets a volcano" and seems to want, desparately, to be forgiven for his transgressions.
The song – and now the video – are being discussed across the country in terms of domestic violence and what message the pop stars' fans might be taking away from it. It's a question worth asking: When I first reported on Rihanna's assault last year I got disturbing comments from many, many young people who thought she'd probably deserved it.
Whatever else it might be as a bittersweet love song about complicated and abusive relationships, "Love the Way you Lie" is, at its heart, a pyscho anthem, with Eminem ultimately concluding,
"I know I'm a liar / If she ever tries to f***ing leave again / I'ma tie her to the bed / And set the house on fire"
What are Eminem and Rihanna hoping their fans take away from these lyrics and this video? Fire away in the comments section below!
As a resource to my readers:
If this song and video hit a little too close to home for you, here's the website and phone number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline: www.ndvh.org 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) 1.800.787.3224 (TTY).
Don't wait until you're tied to the bed with the house on fire to ask for the help you need.
For the latest Sex & Relationships headlines, please subscribe to this column (above) and follow @Sexaminer on Twitter.
Comments
I really love Rihanna and I feel for her for everything she's been through, but this song is an abject disaster! Yes, even violent abusive relationships can be complicated and difficult to extricate yourself from, and yes there can even be love in them. But goddamn! If you're getting physically, verbally, or emotionally abused in a relationship, then you need to get out of there ASAP, and stay out, no matter how many cute little teddy bears or whatever. Eminem: I sincerely hope you go a little bit further on whatever process of recovery you're on. Try not to kill anybody on your way.
I can't decide if this song and video are glorifying an abusive relationship, condemning it, or saying "This is how to is and ever shall be."
There's far too much art out there that sends a message that abuse is ok in romantic relationships. "Twilight", for one, makes me shudder, because it seems to be saying to teenage girls that it's ok if your boyfriend physically harms you and leaves bruises during intercourse.
I think we need more artists to stand up and say that abusive relationships are NOT healthy or acceptable, no matter how "sexy" they have been portrayed in pop culture.
'Eminem: I sincerely hope you go a little bit further on whatever process of recovery you're on. Try not to kill anybody on your way'.
That is the language of violence; not Eminem's pop song. I am so interested in how people react to his and Rihanna's music. And so depressed by what I hear and read.
The "tie you to the bed and set the house on fire" is enough to condemn the song for me. I find it beyond disturbing. It's abhorrent and disgusting. The other actors involving themselves in the video perplex me. Artists do what they do because it's in their hearts; this violence is in Eminem's heart. The rest are doing it for a paycheck -- but how can one glorify this kind of obscene violence for a mere paycheck? Our culture is sadly misogynistic.
i cant beleive people think that this song is bad i think its beautiful your only highlighting the bad parts like "if she ever tries to f**king leave again, ima tie her to the bed and set this house on fire." this song is about loveing someone too much but still cheating on them. its about anger and vilonce on both parts of the relationship not jus his side. this song is about relationships past the honeymoon stage except to an extream but because its not a typical love song people look down on it instead of relly thinking about it.
This isn't the first song to come around like this. Garth Brooks sang a song about a father running over his wife and her lover with a mac truck. People sing songs about subjects people can relate to and there are many people that can relate to this song. I in no way think domestic violence is ok but I think people need to stop trying to read into songs so much! If an artist is happily married and writes a song about a cheating spouse, that doesn't mean they're going through that. Just because eminem is singing a song about abuse doesn't mean he's out there beating up women. Ever hear what a man says after he hits a woman? Well eminem has is right. This song is the reality of what abused women live with.
i never listen to eminem, but i read about the video and watched it. and i totally LOVE it! i play it all the time. i came to this site looking for articles about the song.
i know eminem's against domestic violence. this video & song are evidence of that.
choddie59
krysilis830@yahoo.com
It's wrong to assum the artists want fans to take away or learn something. This song isn't about a lesson. It resonates cause most people have been through similar situations (in various degrees of phisycal and non-physical violence) and it's not something that you can handle easily, on both sides. Domestic Violence is obviously a problem, but the artists, as usual, are expressing somthing many people feel, that sometimes love hurts so much it's hard to keep it in. Not an excuse, or apology for any wrongdoing, but just a fact... And sometimes, like the song, it goes the wrong way, and then all is lost... "Next time, There will be no next time"
Got something to say?
Examiner.com is looking for writers, photographers, and videographers to join the fastest growing group of local insiders. If you are interested in growing your online rep apply to be an Examiner today!