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Domestic violence and its repercussions

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With the recent event of ‘Shield’ actor Michael Jace’s murder of his wife, the adverse effects of domestic violence are opened up. It is obvious that this incident was not the first for Jace. In court documents, Michael Jace’s previous wife Jennifer Bitterman and a witness described multiple instances of abuse by Jace including him threatening to kill her over visitation rights of their son.

In many cases, abusive people are ticking time bombs if they do not get help controlling their anger. The worst part of this story besides the death of an innocent woman is the fact that she was the mother of his children and unfortunately, the children are the ones who will suffer the most.

Domestic violence not only affects the person being abused but in cases that children are involved, it can cause a lifetime of mental health issues for those children. Depending on the exposure and each individual, many children who witness domestic violence suffer from symptoms like PTSD, depression, aggressive behavior, fear, anxiety, reduced social competencies, insomnia and learning disabilities. Read more about the negative repercussions for children who witness domestic violence here.

In many cases, if the children are exposed for long periods without therapy, they grow up thinking that violent behavior is normal. Boys may become abusive in their adult relationships and girls will allow themselves to be abused or both will use violence as an outlet when they are angry. The cycle can be never ending if nothing is done to help these individuals.

It is crucially important for anyone who is involved in domestic violence to remove themselves from the situation especially if children are involved. Not all the love in the world can change an individual who is abusive and cannot control their anger. If the aggressor really does love his or her family then they will be willing to take the necessary steps to get help. It is imperative that the victim to stay strong and not let the abuser back into their life until the abuser has completed therapy and a mental health professional deems them harmless.

It is all too common for victims to feel guilt and feel sorry for the abuser if the abuser apologizes after an episode. This releases the abuser from taking responsibility for his or her actions therefore that person does not learn from their mistake. When someone does not learn from their mistakes, they are bound to make the same mistake again and in cases like domestic violence, the next mistake could be deadly.

In the case of Michael Jace’s murder of his wife, the children now have lost both parents and will have to endure a lifetime of pain and feel the emptiness of losing their parents. It is important when entering a relationship to find out about the other persons past and recognize the signs of an abusive person. Some of these signs are threats of violence or abuse, breaking objects, jealousy, controlling behavior, unrealistic expectations, blaming others for everything and hypersensitivity. Find out more about signs of an abusive person here.

One occurrence of domestic violence is enough for the victim to know that it will happen again, no matter what the abuser says. That is adequate cause to get out and get out fast. Abusive people require months if not years of therapy and or medication to help them control their anger.

Remember to research an individual’s past and watch for the warning signs. Love is not supposed to hurt physically and it is not worth you losing your life or damaging your children’s mental health. Stay strong and love yourself and eventually someone who really does love you will enter your life and do everything possible to keep your love.

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