Time and space are common denominators for all aspects of life. The propinquity, or closeness, seems to run among blood relationships. And many who contemplate a balance between self autonomy and other relatedness may become perplexed in deciphering the closeness in space from closeness in time; since, the movement in space determines time, being close in relationships may induce a sense of immediacy imbedded in time too. How does this affect the chances of breaking up?
The immediacy of time and closeness in space may indicate speed- not only in the actions pertaining to the relations of the couple, but also in the feelings that may propel those actions. Secure, anxious, and avoidant feelings can be related to their corresponding attachment styles. And each attachment style creates desires and affinities, with inclinations, predilections, proclivity, or penchant about immediacy of the partner in time and space.
Aside from the abstractness, in practicality a secure partner may not desire the immediacy of the partner as would an anxious partner. This, being simple as it seems, has predicaments or quandaries. The arousal state of the anxiously attached may "narrow" the beliefs, perceptions, thoughts, feelings and actions about space and time- and with that the desire may increase for closeness and security early in the relationship. The relationships remain in this way.
The interplay between narrowing of mind and immediacy of time with that of spatial closeness perpetuates staying in it- specially, if anxious or abused- and yet seemingly unstable.
Anxiously attached may desire the "narrowing" of time and space early in the commitment.
In the December 2012 issue of the journal "Personal Relationships" Christopher P. Fagundes and Ines Schindler reported that partners favor:
- partners for safety and closeness after four months into the commitment
- partners as the main base of security after over twenty four months
The chances of breaking-up reduced with the 'immediacy' (early in time) of the symbolizing of the partner as 'a base of security'.
Partners with anxious attachment favored the partner for:
- closeness at an earlier time than those with less anxiety in their attachment style
Early in commitment, the avoidant partners had:
- reduced inclination for safety, security, and closeness compared to those with less avoidant attachment
It is interesting to view time and space, narrowing and expanding, in mind and behaviors of the partners- resulting in attachment, break-ups or changes in desires for safety, security and closeness.
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