In the 1970’s film Love Story, Jennifer says to Oliver “love means never having to say you’re sorry.” When it comes to real life relationships this could be farther from the truth and obviously a Hollywood misconception. Real love means saying you’re sorry when you screw up and knowing when to swallow your pride.
Some people have a difficult time recognizing when they’ve done something wrong and that failure can put a strain on the relationship.
The words “I’m Sorry” are powerful in that they acknowledge that a wrong doing has occurred, that the action has caused hurt, and that an active effort will be made to not make the same mistake again. They also represent the responsible party’s acceptance of that wrong-doing and their willingness to accept the blame.
It takes a really mature person to recognize when they have done something wrong and are willing to humble themselves and say those two words.
However, in today’s world it seems that the power and meaning of “I’m Sorry” has lost some value. Saying “I’m sorry” has become a knee-jerk reaction to any given situation where we may be wrong but really have put no thought into our wrong-doing or mistake and have no intention of correcting our behavior.
For example, we say sorry to our spouse when we arrive later than promised as a result of working late and promise not to let it happen again. This would be fine if we really meant it but then the next day we do the same thing. If we continue to perform the same actions after we say sorry then the value and power of those words diminish.
In this situation saying “I’m Sorry” isn’t meaningful instead it becomes something we say merely to pacify the one that we have hurt. Relationship counselor, Jim Valeri, says that saying “I’m sorry” means that:
1. I realize that what I did was wrong
2. I realize that what I did hurt you deeply
3. I want to continue to have a positive relationship with you
4. Therefore, I am going to ask for your forgiveness
5. And in a good faith effort, endeavor to rebuild your trust by never doing what I did to hurt you again.
When we say that we’re sorry this is what we really are saying. It’s much easier to say the words “I’m sorry” than to say the 5 bullet points above and that’s why some use those words in vain. We fail to understand the real purpose of the “I’m sorry”.
Therefore, the next time you think about saying those words think about the true meaning and power behind them. Make your apology a sincere apology so that the power of those words doesn’t lose their value.
Are your apologies sincere or insincere? Are there times when you say “I’m sorry” but really aren’t?
Comments
Great article. I agree with the author, it's become so easy to say "I'm Sorry" that it's almost a knee jerk reaction to appeasing our significant other. When we say that we're sorry we have to truly mean it and make every effort not to repeat the mistake.
Got something to say?
Examiner.com is looking for writers, photographers, and videographers to join the fastest growing group of local insiders. If you are interested in growing your online rep apply to be an Examiner today!