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Does "everything in moderation" aid in his or her decision making?

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"He is an indecisive man, unsteady in all his ways" James 1:8 "... Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you indecisive ones" James 4:8 ".. but his intimacy is with the upright ones " Proverbs 3:32 "For we are those with real circumcision, who are rendering sacred service by God's spirit and have our boasting in Christ Jesus and do not have our confidence in the flesh" Philippians 3:3

How often a partner may be insecure, doubtful, indecisive, vague, ambiguous, or hesitant about the relationship? He or she may utter not knowing where they "stand". She may be under the erroneous belief that he is indecisive, scared or hesitant about being married. And he may be under the erroneous belief that she is insecure or vague. Feelings and the flesh are part of the relationship.

Familiarity, closeness, understanding and intimacy may influence the feelings and level of confidence one has about one's own and the partner's body and flesh. Any excess in either direction about these may be good at one end and bad at the other end of the spectrum.

There may be little complaint about having a high level of understanding; too little confidence, being insecure, and too much confidence about the flesh or body (being self-absorbed) may negatively affect the relationship too. A few may believe that using "everything in moderation" as a guide could work in all areas of the relationship- i.e., moderation in confidence, closeness and understanding may be believed to clarify vagueness or indecision.

In this era many may be under the impression that moderation (regulation of feelings or temperance) would resolve doubt, insecurity, relational fear, indecision or ambiguity. As obvious as that may seem, moderation or temperance may not be the answer to that.

In a December 2002 research appearing in the journal "Personal Relationships", authors Leanne K. Knobloch and Denise Haunani Solomon reported that moderate level of "intimacy" (or what may be understanding, closeness and confidence) is associated with increased level of episodes of "uncertainty" (or what may be insecurity, indecision, vagueness, ambiguity and doubt).

At least in this study, moderation in understanding, or intimacy, was not entirely related to- what may be- increased level of confidence, reassurance, clarity, security, certainty, decision making, or maybe even attentiveness. The "neutral" level of intimacy may be related to "doubt" in the relationship.


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