Usually when we meet people and become friends with them we learn little things about them as time goes by but we never really ask them about the small stuff. Often friendships end because one friend did not fulfill the requirements of the other. Unless you ask you might not know what the requirements are. Do you know what your friends require?
Most of us understand that our friends require the major characteristics of honesty, loyalty, and trust in friendships but these are a given. Sometimes what we aren’t aware of are those things in fine print; the small stuff. Have you ever not given a friend something that they required and when you didn’t it changed the friendship forever?
When we don’t know what our friends require we run the risk of losing the friendship because we didn’t know what the requirements were. You may think it’s crazy but some friendships have ended over much less and sometimes getting a friendship back on track is hard. Loss of friendship or trouble in friendship happens when we don’t learn these things prior to the actual friendship. It’s highly unlikely in a friendship that someone would deliberately not fulfill your requirements if they knew that they existed. It might sound silly but if we begin asking the question “What do you require of me in our friendship” we may be able to eliminate some of the dilemmas we find ourselves in.
A lot of people have a hard time asking for what they want or think that maybe the other person should automatically know what they require. That isn’t always true because if things weren’t explicitly stated you can’t really hold someone accountable for what they don’t know. As individuals we all require different things and maybe for some there are no requirements at all outside of the usual honesty, trust and loyalty.
The real problem is that most of us became friends without really knowing the other person. We’ve started friendships and didn’t know what the other person required or even if we could actually fulfill those requirements. It’s hard after you’ve been friends with someone to go back to ask those questions but it’s necessary in order to continue the friendship so you don’t have a repeat of the same problem with a different issue.
Truthfully most of us don’t really know what we need in friendships until someone is not giving it but the older we get our needs change. When a friend unintentionally doesn’t do something that we require we can’t mistake our friend’s lack of fulfilling our requirements as a personal attack upon us and not realize that just might be how that person is.
Have you ever asked your friends what they require? Placing the shoe on the other foot do your friends know what you require? Normally we are in friendships with people we have something in common with but some things they may need from day to day may not be some of the same things that you require.
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Save the date: Wednesday, March 13th AMCC #11 is giving a tribute to Women's History Month. Join them as they celebrate womanhood through poetry, song, and art. The legendary Thornetta Davis will also be doing a special performance. This show has brought together some of the greatest talent in Detroit to pay homage to the beauty of women. Make sure you arrive early to get a seat. There will also be several vendors, including Gaiiu Llc, Salikas' Jewelry, Detroit Snob, and more. Half of the proceeds from this event will go to LMH Group's community service initiatives. ILL. This event will be held at the Jazz Music Hall at 350 Madison Avenue in Detroit.