If someone gets down on one knee, hands you a diamond ring and asks you, “Will you marry me?” Do you have to say yes? Surprisingly a lot of people say you do. It is the fear of losing the person you are with that persuades you to agree to get married, arguably one of, if not the most important decision of your life. An engagement should be a happy time right?
The trend of being in a relationship with someone for years has led to some unhappily engaged couples. So the question remains how do you say no to someone you love so much? Some people might wonder why you wouldn’t want to marry someone you’ve been with for so long and there are several reasons. You might not feel your boyfriend is in the right financial position to be a husband. Or you are just not ready to make that final commitment. Any reason you have for not wanting to get married is your reason and no one else has to understand it. It is in that moment when he is kneeling before you with his hand extended holding a shiny diamond ring that you have to make the decision to be honest. If you can’t be honest with your boyfriend and tell him no then, you are definitely not ready to be married. Marriage is about honesty and trust and any marriage that begins with a lie will not last happily.
Marriage is something that a lot of people seem to take very lightly. Both people in a relationship need to be on the same page. Most people want a proposal to be a surprise, not something that is expected. However there are ways to know if the person you are with wants to be married without coming out and asking. If you notice your significant other all of a sudden starts talking about a future with you, kids, buying a house, these are all signs that he is moving in the direction of having you walk down the aisle. Make it very clear to the person you are with that you are not ready. Do not be afraid if they threaten to leave. Marriage is too much of a commitment to be bullied or ultimatumed into it. Have the strength to walk away if the only other choice is to walk down the aisle and falsely make a promise to someone you know you do not want to be with.
A good idea for any couple considering marriage is counseling.
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