Do you ever feel like the last single person left on earth?
Maybe you spent your twenties and/or thirties traveling the world, having steamy affairs with inappropriate people, or achieving immense success in your career. You have no regrets, of course. You lived your life selfishly and fantastically, because you knew that one day your priorities would be drastically different and you would never again have the simultaneous opportunities of youth and time.
While you were busy living the exciting life, your friends and colleagues took different paths, paths that led them toward marriage and children and white picket fences. Their social media feeds show a barrage of family pictures and matrimonial clichés instead of bar crawls and laughable pickup lines. Your outings together include strollers and baby talk instead of margaritas and first-date gossip. Your conversations consist of grasping at old memories to try to stay current in each other’s lives.
Somewhere along the way, you come to the realization that you no longer have anything in common with these childhood friends and college roommates with whom you used to be so close. Sadly, you can’t relate to their domesticity and they can’t relate to your freedom.
How do you come to terms with this shift in your social life? Your once vibrant and thrilling lifestyle has left you with amazing memories and an enviable stream of Instagram pictures, but now you feel alienated from the “real world” you’d like to join.
First off, you need to be patient. Transition is always challenging, especially when you feel alone in the process. Try to meet people who are similar to you in their stage in life, whether it is through a Meetup group or Crossfit or a volunteer organization.
Second, go on dates! Let your old married friends set you up and be open to the experience, even if he/she isn’t necessarily your type. At least you won’t be the only single person in the room for a few hours.
Third, don’t get frustrated with your domestically inclined friends when they can’t stop talking about the PTA and inviting you to their kids’ baseball games. Their current situation reflects their choices and their chosen paths, and you need to respect that. Besides, you never know when the third base coach may be single and cute.