October 15, 2009
Photo by Jaime Ibarra
Women say it all the time: Looks don't matter; we go for guys who are funny, smart, intellectual, outgoing, etc.” Meaning you, you bombshell you, go for these traits regardless of receding hairlines, horrible adult acne, bad breath, missing teeth and body odor?
Attractive people gravitate to other attractive people. It's a common truth in the dating game. Generalizing should not be done here but it is imminent. Everyone is drawn to someone with similar traits as themselves: nerds to nerds, rebel to rebel, prep to prep.
This lie we tell ourselves making us look one step ahead of the male community is slowly proving itself fictitious; men are onto us.
Has physical attractiveness replaced personality’s forefront or was personality ever even a forefront, really?
In an article discussing whether looks matter to men, Rich Santos of Marie Claire says the first thing he notices in a female is the figure.
"I wish this wasn't so, but it is," said Santos with reason, of course. "I'm average height and my first few girlfriends I ever had were all petite. So I guess I've just developed attraction to that type of figure."
So there it is ladies, your reason alone to tell men everywhere we are personality loving creatures who do not turn our heads at tall, dark and handsome men. Disgrace. Our bodies and souls are drawn to wit, character and kindness: right.
Because you, the head turner, are so not attracted to someone with striking looks like yours? You go for complete opposites as well. Because someone fancied your brown whimsical hair, you decided to take him up on the offer and date the troll collecting, fantasy football, Andrea Bocelli fanatic guy leaving behind your love for death metal, gymnastics and a fear of trolls; all in the name of proving oneself.
"I wish I could deny my instincts, but my instincts tell me that I won't be happy unless someone is smart, fun, sweet AND good-looking," Santos said.
There is commonality between the two genders. Deny, deny, deny all you want--you will get nowhere.
Telling men they are sweet, but you would rather keep them as a good friend simply means: You are not attractive whatsoever. In fact, the thought of kissing you repulses me, your obsession with Frodo Baggins is really weird and I hate your haircut so let’s be friends; the kind of friends who only talk on Facebook.
It's rare anyway when you see a Claudia Schiffer walking down the street with a Screech, so looks do matter. Personality matters. The full package matters. The first step is agreeing to stop lying to ourselves as well as being open with men when addressed with the question as to whether we date based on appearance.
The image trying to be kept making women look like saints and men look like ghastly pigs is no longer comprehensible to the foreseen eye.