This is one of the most often questions asked in the asexual community: is it possible for a relationship between and asexual person and a sexual person to work out? The answer to that question is “yes, it’s possible.” The follow up question is, of course, how does an asexual/sexual relationship work? There are as many answers to that question as there are couples.
The key to making an asexual/sexual relationship work is making sure that the sexual’s needs are met. There are several possible ways to accomplish this: compromise, open relationship, and masturbation. It is important to remember that the sexual partner has the right to have his/her needs met, and the asexual partner has the right to refuse sexual activity.
With a compromise, both partners agree to certain types of sexual activity. Both partners must speak open and honestly about what they want and what they need. It is important to distinguish between the two. A couple should find activities that they can both enjoy, not something that will be a chore to one. This is a subject that should be discussed often to ensure both parties are happy and comfortable.
With an open relationship, the sexual partner fulfills his/her needs with other partners. This won’t work for everyone. Some people can separate sex and love; others cannot. Those who fall in love with their sexual partners will not want an open relationship. Some people are naturally wired for monogamy and would not be comfortable their partner sleeping with others. These people will not want an open relationship either. An open relationship requires great trust and open communication among all parties.
With masturbation, the sexual partner fulfills his/her needs by him/herself. This can include viewing porongraphy or using toys. The sexual partner must be comfortable with meeting his/her needs this way. The asexual partner must be comfortable with whatever method the sexual partner chooses. Open and honest communication is vital.
The type of relationship a couple choses will depend on the individual needs and wants of both parties. You may have noticed a common theme here: the couple must be capable of open and honest communication. This principle applies to any relationship though.
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