A tale of two divorces (of real people who I know):
One couple with a young child have battled and bankrupted each other with court fees and exaggerated allegations that have continued for years. They have done what they could to make the interstate travel inconvenient and expensive for the other, even when it doesn’t benefit themselves to do so. They each speak of themselves as the victim of the other, and state that they can’t understand why the other is so cruel and unfair. The real victim is the child who sees the parents yelling at each other in public and demeaning the other in private.
Another couple with a young child used a divorce mediator to amicably come to an agreement that was acceptable to each. Though each side felt he or she might be getting the short end of the stick, they were each willing to capitulate somewhat for the sake of maintaining a positive relationship that would benefit their child. Within four months the legalities were completed. Their interstate travel is planned for the convenience of both. To allow each plenty of time with their child, they are willing to be together for a couple of weeks at a time when it makes sense to do so. They still go to a few social events together and interact kindly with the extended family on both sides, giving their child a sense of continuity. Their child hears them speak positively of each other. They are still assets to each others’ professional lives by sharing advice and resources, even though both have moved on to cultivate relationships with others.
In spiritual maturity, the opposite of injustice is not justice, but compassion. —Charlotte Joko Beck
See also Zentalk: Compassion.
