A recent large study in the UK, http://huff.to/1cPy60r revealed the most common divorce regrets. At the top of the list was divorce’s devastating impact on children. Many parents filing for divorce are too wrapped up in their own emotional pain to consider how much it will traumatize their children. The high degree of anger often restricts one’s overall perception and ability to think beyond the immediate situation.
In addition, a high degree of fear interferes with a parent’s ability to ascertain how the divorce is impacting one’s children. The children have been thrown on a hamster wheel of drama and negative emotions. They get hurt when forced to take sides by a controlling parent. Children need to know that they do not need to take sides but to love both of their parents.
Here are 5 ways to protect your child during divorce:
1) No matter how awful the ex-spouse is trashing you to the children never follow suit. A child needs a safe zone to relax and be free of all the negative energy. When your children complain, explain how that parent is just hurting right now and that this too shall pass. The more you can say nice things about that parent the more the child will gravitate towards you. You can also empower your child to just send God’s divine love to the situation and the bullying parent. Love always works over hateful negative emotions. Next, the opposing parent will resent you less with this attitude.
2) A parent will greatly help their child by dealing with their own negative emotions during a divorce. One can get hypnosis, seek out counseling, or even do some affirmations to reprogram the subconscious mind. The more clarity you have the better able you are to notice your child’s needs as well. Affirmations repeated out loud such as, “I am at peace in my mind body and soul” or “My fear has no power over me”. One can repeat these affirmations out loud 3 times a day for 15 minutes for 21 days.
3) Schedule time for joy in your child’s life. Divorce is a very ugly time in a person’s life and a parent often has guilt over the situation. When guilt is present love and joy usually go out the window. Why not get out in nature and connect with your child. During this time do not mention anything regarding the divorce and just be present with your child.
4) Next, many can lose touch with one’s spirituality under extreme stress. It is important to get connected with one’s inner voice during a divorce. A high degree of fear will leave one vulnerable to the opinions of others. You want to avoid taking any advice from a negative person. Why not meditate to get control over one’s emotions.
5) Never share your divorce feelings or stories with any friends, neighbors or family members. Stories get taken out of context and will boomerang back to you. This will not only cause more fire between your ex but also subject your child to gossip as well. In addition, a person in great emotional pain cannot always decipher a friend from an enemy. When nosy friends or neighbors ask just reply, “Thanks for asking, but I would rather leave that with God right now! You do not need to justify your decisions to anyone. The more you can protect your family’s privacy the less your children will be impacted by negative gossip. In addition, whatever you give your energy to expands so choose joy over drama.
Protect your child!