Divorce is not easy. However, for more than a few couples, before, during or after the divorce, emotions keep some from putting the best interests of their children first. Children should be able to experience the unconditional love of both their parents - even after the love is gone from the marriage!
For the sake of your kids, here are some suggestions to consider:
1. Your children should not be privy to mom and dad's relationship problems...your issues should not concern your kids!
2. As the old saying goes...if you have nothing nice to say...about the other parent - say nothing at all!
3. Children are not messengers - if you have something to tell the other parent, relay it to the adult, not the child!
4. Children are not spies - so don't ask them about the new man or woman in your ex's life!
5. Child support is between you, your spouse and the state - your children need not be an accountant for you!
6. Show respect of their feelings - your child loves their other parent just as they love you...they don't have to pick their heart's loyalties!
You will always be tied to your ex through your children - making this lifelong commitment easier on your children will also help you to heal and re-categorize your relationship between you and your ex. Redirect the anger and loss of the marriage and focus on the behaviors that will aid your children in becoming loving,balanced adults!
Wishing you well....
Jennifer C. Smetters, Esq.