Ditch your frenemies for real friends

 

Dear Annie,

At first listen it sounds like you have two separate issues with these girls but it's actually the same, one big issue. They need to respect you more. Friends joke around with each other, especially when they are extremely close, but the joking should go both ways. If you're always the butt of the joke that's not a very healthy relationship for you to be a part of. You can try to talk to them. Let them know that it hurts your feelings to be made fun of and hopefully they will stop. If they are actually your friends who care about your feelings then they'll make a point of being more careful not to hurt you. If the jokes continue, perhaps you should consider distancing yourself from them. You don't have to completely ditch them but try making a few new friends and see how that goes. After you've been hanging out with friends who respect and support you for a while, you just may decide that those other girls were never your friends in the first place and move on to only have time in your life for positive, loving relationships. Friends should believe in and support you, not keep you around to make themselves feel better about their insecurities. As far as eating out with the sabotagers, you're going to have to stay strong and stick to your guns. Order healthy food for yourself and pay no attention to what they have on their plates. There's a chance that they don't even know they're making you stray from your diet so make it known that you're cutting out fried food and sweets or carbs. You can't stop them from ordering cheesecake but you can stop yourself from enjoying the dessert off of their plates. Use your will power to avoid eating unhealthy food but if it's too much temptation for you, schedule hiking dates with them rather than dinner dates. If you meet at a yoga studio or for a run on the beach, you'll avoid the issue completely. By letting them know how you feel and by being strong inside your mind and heart, you can nip both of your problems with your frenemies in the bud. 

Yours truly,

Jennifer

 

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