Discipline: What is it?

Discipline is a systematic instruction intended to train a person.

Discipline is an assertion of willpower over base desires and is usually understood to be synonymous with self control.

Not what you may have expected is it?

When first considering a plan of discipline for your child(ren), recognize and be willing to make a commitment to structure a form of discipline for yourself as a parent.

Hippocrates wrote, "Declare the past, diagnose the present, foretell the future, practice these acts. Make a habit of two things, to help or at least do no harm."

The first step is to watch, wait and listen to the dynamics within the household. What will you focus on first?

Would it be little Suzy's temper tantrums? or your son Bobby's inability to focus on homework after school? Maybe, the decision to work on the family's inner power struggle "who's word is the final word"? Children of exceptional intelligence work this problem to the fullest, pitting father against mother manipulating the outcome from unsuspecting parents.

The choice will be all yours.

Continuing on with definitions, hopefully you'll see the pattern that will help confirm your intentions and make the best possible plan available.

Self discipline is when one uses reason to determine the best course of action that opposes one's desires. It is the ability to motivate oneself in spite of a negative emotional state. Using willpower routinely and even automatically.

Structured thought controls willpower. Which takes hard work and persistence.

Virtuous Behavior is when one's motivations are aligned with one's own reasoned aims. To do what one knows is best and to do it gladly.

Continent Behavior is when one does what one knows is best but must do it by opposing ones motivations.

Moving from continent to virtuous behavior requires training and self discipline.In most cultures self discipline is the ultimate path to success.

That said it is easier now to recognize a parents role in discipline. Discipline is more a plan parents adopt to cultivate behaviors within themselves to best benefit their children's development. To become a whole, responsible, productive and capable adult.

Reasoning, observation and the ability to formulate disciplines is a crucial and fundamental taught routine that must grow into an innate ability. To overcome and succeed; is one of the most necessary learned responses. Self discipline is the first step in problem solving, goal attainment and continued balance as life progresses for each and every adult within any culture.

Forms of Discipline

Any discipline to adopt will mean a change in routine. Examples:

  • To always wake up at 7 am regardless of what day of the week it is: is a discipline.
  • To exercise every morning before 9 am for a half an hour; is a discipline.
  • To whisper when your child tends to respond in a loud voice; is a discipline.
  • It is NOT disciplining your child to tell them to speak quietly or to say, 'You are talking to loudly." It IS a discipline for the parent to always respond back in a whisper. "Can you hear me yet? You're talking too loudly-inside voices please."
  • It is a discipline to NOT participate in a heated argument, to respond calmly, rationally and without an angry emotion.

PUNISHMENT

Many confuse discipline as a form of punishment. Hopefully it is more evident now that discipline does NOT even remotely include or relate to punishment.

Punishment is the authoritative imposition of something negative or unpleasant on a person, animal, organization or entity in response to behavior deemed unacceptable by an individual, group or other entity.

"Punishments differ in the degree of severity of their unpleasantness, and may include sanctions such as reprimands, deprivations of privileges or liberty, fines, incarcerations, ostracism, the infliction of pain, and the death penalty." wikipedia.com

Pretty intense, research into punishment often includes similar research into prevention.

Prevention SHOULD BE THE PARENTS FOCUS. NOT the inflicting of negative sometimes lifelong counter productive punishments. Seen in this light. Isn't it a much better response to become a self disciplined leader within the family? Able to formulate a discipline upon your own lifestyle to train and positively nurture those easily molded, exceptional and unique minds your children possess?

Again the choice is yours.

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, Boston Early Childhood Parenting Examiner

Corinne Costantino is a teacher and single mother of three. She has been introduced to the problems that parents in the low to middle income bracket face and has spent numerous years finding the solutions to many unique problems facing families today. Corinne continues to do outreach of all...

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