Would you like to know the truth? Here is the *real* reason Michelle Obama is wearing bangs.
Michelle Obama supports gun control. Right? Right. When a kid is playing cops and robbers, when they point their toast that has been nibbled into the shape of a gun or when they hold their index finger and thumb out to simulate the holding of a gun in their hand, and then they pretend to shoot - what do they say? "Bang".
Could it be that the democrats are *secretly* mocking gun 'enthusiasts' openly via Michelle Obama's hair? Could the White House be so corruptly and deliciously devious?
Could Michelle Obama's bangs be part of an unwritten political statement deftly hidden behind a seemingly innocent fashion statement?
Are those in favor of restrictions regarding the ownership of certain types of guns all going to jump onto the "bang scandal" bandwagon? Should we create a word to represent this certain and impending fashion-turned-political statement?
Is it going to be as big as "Watergate" making it "Bang-gate" or perhaps a scandal deserving of the creation of the word "Bangal".
Will Hillary Clinton (who desperately needs bangs to cover her enormous forehead) finally break down and return to her "bang wearing" days?
Further, one would naturally wonder how many gun owner enthusiasts who currently wear bangs will decide *today* that their bang wearing days are over and add barrettes to their hair control arsenal?
Fox news would be the most likely source to break such a deviously underhanded ploy - in spite of that - as of this moment there is no sign of such a conspiracy.
Lucky for Gilbert - their local Roving Dork Chop FO-tog was listening to the Presidential Inauguration on NPR (via KJZZ) this morning while reading news of Michelle Obama's bangs and the connection seemed obvious enough to her.
It is inconceivable that Fox News has not yet unraveled the mystery of the "Bang-Gate Bangal", but fear not, my fellow conspiracy theorists…for it is most certainly coming. If one Gilbert 'Dork Chop' can make the connection - so, too, could Fox News.