"Delicious Dating: The Single Girl’s Guide to Decoding Men" Author in Chicago

Babe Scott will be in Chicago to discuss her dating and dining expertise on WGN next week - Valentine's Day. I was fortunate enough to be able to get the inside scoop.

Did you know that The Fate of Your Love Life May Be Determined at the Dinner Table? Babe has dined with over 100 Men
and interviewed hundreds of men and women to learn how to reveal how to judge your date’s potential as a lover, and a husband…simply by what they eat.

BabeScott’s Five Do’s and Don’ts To Guarantee The Ultimate Valentine’s Date:
 
 ·   DO: Identify if he is your 'dining' type. In her book Delicious Dating, Babe breaks down 10 Male Dining Types to help you peg him in a heartbeat.  Those types include “Adventure Eaters,” “Low-Carb Cowboys,” “Gourmet Gigolos,” “Five-Star Men” and “Food Sensualists,” plus many more. 
 
·    DON’T: Inhale your meal faster than a boa constrictor. Men are turned off by women who eat faster than they do. Take a breath, chew your food, and swallow, ladies! This technique will ensure he will come back for seconds!
 
·    DON’T: Interview your date as if they’re applying for a new job. It’s all about making a connection over candles and cuisine rather than turning the date into an inquisition.
 
·    DO: Prepare for the date with a mental shopping list. Is he your perfect male dish? Consider whether he is a man who can satisfy your sensual appetites. Don’t be afraid to look for the man that fits the bill (and pays it too).
 
·    DO: See if he wets your whistle—right at the table!  Be forewarned— if he’s not romantic on Valentine’s Day, then he is never going to be. If a guy makes an effort to please your palate at the table, than he will try and please you away from it. A man’s dining style is a window into his mating style.

The Interview:

How did the idea for the book and website come to you?

"The idea came to me over a particularly unpalatable anniversary meal with my ex-fiancé. He had defrosted a prehistoric package from the back of his freezer, which he served with wine in a box.

In that moment I had an epiphany that men are what they eat and I had been dating the wrong Male Food Type. It was not only that the meal was crap, but that I realized we were two strangers across a table and the relationship would never work.

After I threw the tea towel in on our relationship, I decided to research my theory of food as a litmus test for lovers. I started a website called www.takemeoutolunch.com where I invited men to help me with my research by allowing me to interview them over a meal.

A manthropologist on a mission, I dined with more than 100 men in every type of dining venue from dumpsters to five star restaurants in an effort to solve the riddle of men via their stomachs. I also interviewed another 200 men and women about the corollaries between a man’s wining and dining style and his mating style."

You're from Australia - Do you find men different in the US? How? 

"Australian men have learned chivalry from watching re-runs of Rambo. I don’t know if it is a throwback from the convict era or the fact that civilization came later to Australia than the Americas.

Aussie men are great to look at but they wouldn’t think to pour your wine for you if both your arms were in a sling. They are not known for their romantic gestures but rather beer swilling, butt scratching and occasionally throwing a shrimp on the Barbie.

If you like your men as primal and rugged as a rough cut of steak, then an Aussie guy might be ideal but if you like a little more finesse than I think America has more refined romantic prospects. In my opinion, American men are far more gallant. They generally open car doors, care about tempting a woman’s palate, pull her chair out and other niceties.

Having had so many exes who wouldn’t offer to help carry a heavy grocery bag up the stairs if I was having a hernia, I put a big value on chivalry. I think Helpful is the new Sexy and that men who give good service at the table, give good service elsewhere. I would strongly encourage women to notice how solicitous he is and how far he goes out of his way to accommodate her."

Do you think that people go about being in relationships (and looking for love) in the same way wherever they are from?

"I think that people go about searching for love quite similarly everywhere. It is a pretty accepted notion that you will sample the smorgasbord before settling down and I think that is a good thing and a great way to work out what you are looking for and also to learn about yourself.

I believe the Oracle of Delphi is not in some far off place but on our dinner plates. Think of it as Eat, Pour, Love - dating and dining as a journey of self-discovery.

While the approach may be similar, I think that every woman’s tastes are different in men and food. This is one of the reasons you can’t be too prescriptive about romance. One woman’s unpalatable is another’s perfect male dish.

It’s like cooking you have to come up with your own recipe for love. It is up to each of us to find our flavor. I think women should make an effort to test-drive different types of men, to get an idea of what style of guy suits them."

You're in a good relationship now, how could you tell he was the one? Describe some specific signs?

"My guy is a chef so that put him in front for a start. I have been out with so many domestically challenged men that it is really nice to be with someone who knows his way around a hotplate. I believe a man in the kitchen is worth two in the pub.

The signs were evident immediately. Dave made a real effort to woo me and seduce my palate. He made sure he found a restaurant that would get me salivating. He asked me all about my preferences and also tried to make the venue was convenient.

We shared dishes and overall it was very sensuous. At the same time Dave was very solicitous and he has proved very helpful ever since."

If you could describe your perfect man in gourmet meal terms, what would be served?

"I happen to love duck and so does my partner so a tenderly cooked French inspired duck dish would be super delicious (I am salivating thinking of it). I had never tasted duck until I went on my culinary crusade and one of the great things about it was that I found all manner of food and wine crushes.

It made me fall in love with food. I really believe that it is about tasting what life has to offer. In fact, I sometimes even dream of duck…."

What do you tell your daughter about love?

"I tell her that love is a verb and to judge a man by his actions rather than what he says.

I think that this is one of the reasons food is so instrumental in telling you about another person, as it doesn’t lie.

It is also easy to observe how empathetic someone is and their attitude to nurture and also self-nurture.

I would also advise her not to shortchange herself in the love department. Our quality if life is so linked to whom we choose to partner with.

I think that the beauty of food too is that it reveals people’s intrinsic qualities. Many women get so caught up in externals – the car they drive and the like, that they don’t notice that the guy has little empathy or is self-destructive."

What can you tell about a woman from her eating habits?

"It is possible to tell a wealth of things, just as you can with guys. You can tell if she is adventurous or conservative; the sharing kind or covetous.

It is also a direct mirror of our lovemaking styles and in that vein, it is relatively easy to tell if a woman is sensuous.

I think guys can also get a lot out of reading the book. It will help them read potential partners and decide if their appetites match."

What about the man who offers to cook for you?

"I wouldn’t let a man cook for me unless I was ready to go to bed with him even if he claimed he could cook like Mario Batali.

Many men use the ploy of a homemade meal to lure women into sleeping with them so unless you are ready for some heat, I would insist on dining out.

I think that a respectful guy, even if he is a four star chef, will wait to suggest this whereas guys who are insistent on making a meal for you immediately, want you for dessert.

Often, these really pushy types are Culinary Con Men who will claim to be amazing cooks if they can operate a can opener. When you get to their place, you realize they haven’t a license to drive a hot plate. They are all talk and no technique in more areas than one. I would wait and get to know him in restaurants and public places first."

Scott: "Eating out is officially the new eating in. American’s spend upwards of half a trillion dollars a year on dining out and the average person now consumes 3.7 meals a week outside the home. Chefs and restaurateurs have achieved rock star status as dining out has become a national pastime."

"Dining together has always been the mainstay of dating rituals but never more so than now. The food world has exploded in recent years. We have more choices than ever before in the culinary and romantic sphere.

It is accepted that women will experiment with many more partners before settling down, giving us the opportunity to sample the man buffet and explore our tastes in men and food. We also put more value on satisfying our appetites than did our more self-sacrificing mothers.

If you think about it, women throughout history were conditioned to put men’s appetites before their own, not a great recipe for sensual satisfaction. Now we lead with our appetites."  

Come on now, don't you think that most men are just on their best behavior on VDay?

"I definitely think that men are putting their best fork forward on V-Day that is why it is so telling. I think that if he puts no effort in that you wouldn’t have to be Nostradamus to work out that he is never going to be Sir Galahad.

I also think it is interesting to see how much thought he puts into the night. I think it is less about the money he spends than the effort he makes to make the night personal for you.

For instance a heartfelt love note rather than a generic message, a personalized present (like a photo of the two of you) and a meal that means something – the place you went to on your first date, a meal that represents a fond memory or a holiday you had. It’s all about conjuring memories and making it unique."

Would you say that a food related function is the best place to meet men?

 "I think that men who are diligent in the dining department are more diligent in the dating department. They put more thought and energy into a date, not to mention pleasing your palate. I think wine nights, single foodie nights, singles cooking classes and anything food-related is going to generally net you a more quality guy than say just meeting in a bar."

Why do you think that men are more open to meeting women at dining functions than at other events? 

"I have found that these guys take their time a bit more with women they meet. They are interested in food and wine and sharing opinions on the offerings. They aren’t just there to pickup. In the same vein, they are more interested in getting to know other aspects of the women they meet than, say, a guy you meet at a bar.

Many of the guys who frequent bars and clubs are 'Pretzel Players' who are only interested in how many vodka shots it will take to weaken your defenses so you say yes to their sexual advances. They have little nutritive qualities in both a culinary and a romantic sense."

What about the college male, newly hired and on a budget, and the senior citizen male who gets senior discounts everywhere- Doesn't this mask their true food personalities?

"No, because I don’t think it is about money. I think our food personalities come out regardless of our budget.

I recently read a story in Salon.com where hipsters were buying Japanese eggplant, mint chutney and fresh turmeric and other such delicacies with their food stamps.

I have been on camping trips with a close male friend who can turn $10 worth of food into poetry.

In contrast, I have met millionaires (one of whom was the aforementioned ex fiancé) who keep the specials for Dominos on their fridge and are never more content than with a supersized Coke, a few beers and a pizza under their belts."

What about sports events like the Superbowl? How can you judge then?

"I wouldn’t recommend judging guys by what they do at the Superbowl. Events like these triggers nearly everyone’s fast food impulses. I don’t think anyone can really enjoy the Superbowl without indulging in some fried food and Doritos. It is part of the ritual.

I don’t think women should try and decide what type he is until they have the first proper dining date. I wouldn’t decide when you meet for a quick date for a glass of wine or coffee either. I would wait until you have a proper meal before you try and truly divine his type.

On that note, I don’t expect women to jettison a man after one date either because of his archetype, just to observe and see if this is borne out on later dates. It is just important to flag the signs early on than see them in hindsight later and a man is telegraphing who he is across the table."

Ok- In Chicago, some couples have entire romances built around fast food places like 'White Castle' (where they met and return year after year for Valentine's Day) - Your thoughts?

"I think there is something lovely in returning to the place you first dated for Valentine’s Day. It helps you recall the memories and the reasons that you were attracted in the first place.

I think that it is totally fine to love fast food and also to enjoy White Castle. I just think that there is a man for every mood and every palate. The book just alerts women as to what a man’s dining type is and what this says about his potential as a lover and partner. It is up to individual women to work out what type suits them best."

If you were a meal/restaurant, how would you describe yourself?

"I love adventure so I always like a meal that is going to surprise me. If I had to describe my Dining Type, I would be closest to the 'Adventure Eater'. I love discovering new taste sensations and taking culinary bungee jumps.

If I were a meal, I would probably be something quite visceral and slow cooked - maybe an organ meat, a wild boar stew or even a tenderly cooked venison, served with earthy vegetables and a full-blooded red wine. This is making me so hungry – I could start nibbling on the culinary version of myself."

How would you say your book was different from all of the others out there?

"I think the main difference is that it countenances the idea of female satiation. Most of the dating books I read were all about finding a guy to marry you rather than finding one that pleases you. Further, they generally advocated botoxing your personality and preferences to try and please as many guys as possible.

I don’t think there is any point traipsing down the aisle if all you have to look forward to is heartburn and I don’t think there is anything attractive about a woman that dilutes herself. A woman that revels in her appetites is ravishing.

I also don’t recall reading any books that focused on helping a woman recognize what type of man he was and whether he suited them or that took our subjective pleasure into consideration.

I think that sharing the staples and taking pleasure in our partnerships is key to finding intrinsic happiness. I also think that Delicious Dating helps women enjoy the dating journey and use it to learn. It also helps women recognize a guy’s qualities rather than just his external ones. It certainly helped me transform my romantic life.

It is humorous and fun read and will also give women lots of “aha” moments. I think it will help them develop restaurant savvy as well as man savvy. It is good to try different types so we know what types of guys most whet our appetites. I think we put a lot of store in our jobs and our university degrees but we don’t put enough value in the things we learn from life. I believe Delicious Dating will help women find more pleasure in their romantic lives."

Tell me more about the Chardonnay Support Club (www.takemeoutolunch.com)? What goes on?

"We have only just started this but eventually it will be a database where women can meet like-minded tipplers and also share their dating and mating stories.

I really believe in the sisterhood. I think that you can survive anything as long as you have a few female friends who are willing to share a tipple, provide a shoulder to cry on and have a laugh: Private jokes are about as much fun as TV dinners. Unlike ice-cream sundaes and whiskey sours, you can never have enough wonderful women."

If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, is it up to the woman to learn the path, or just how he travels?

"I think we should reverse that old adage and recognize that the way to a woman’s heart is through her palate. I think it is more important for a woman to recognize her tastes and appetites and consider if he feeds her on more levels than one.

Women historically have focused on feeding male appetites rather than satisfying their own and consequently many of us have ended up with relationships that lack relish.

In this vein, I think women make a mistake trying to cook their way to four carats. It is important to let him woo you from the first and see if he whets your appetite."

For more information: www.babescott.com