Deceased relative provides role model in dreams

Role models, even those who've passed away, appear in our dreams offering guidance for our waking dilemmas.

Dear Carolyn,

I’ve always played the role of “Peacekeeper” in our family. It’s something I do naturally - just who I feel I am. I am very independent and want people to like me. I am also known for my weird dreams but last night’s is really stumping me:

I am running around busy getting ready for a funeral of a distant relative, Aunt H. Aunt H. did pass last year and I did attend her funeral in my husband’s hometown.

The funeral was once again in his hometown but instead of graveside services it was in a school gym basement and we all had to slide into it. We had the same sweet stories from all her grandchildren and respectful mourners, but we also had all of my husband’s extended family. There are a lot of them and a lot of current drama amongst them unlike my own peaceful family. There was no major drama at the funeral, just some laughs about banana pudding – Aunt H’s specialty. But I did have to constantly remind everyone to be on their best behavior and make a seating chart of sort.

What does all this mean?

Signed,

Family Diplomat

Dear Diplomat,

You don’t mention it, but your dream seems to have some signs of being a recurring one. Maybe not the exact dream, but elements of it might have repeated for you over time. This is suggested by the role you play as peacekeeper/room monitor. In your dream it's up to you to establish and maintain order. Perhaps there are events in your waking life that trigger a bit of anxiety and that same need to take on the peacekeeper/monitor role, to remind all the actors to 'play nice,' and to take their assigned places.

It’s important for you to be on the lookout for situations in which you recognize this feeling of not trusting others to behave well or needing to control their behavior. Once you recognize the circumstance in waking life, you can apply your dream’s insights to your advantage.

As you mention, peacekeeper/room monitor is a role that’s familiar and comes naturally to you. Chances are, your family, and perhaps even your husband’s family looks to you to fulfill this needed service. The qualities of Aunt H. whom you admire, are the qualities that will serve you best in such trying circumstances. Her passing leaves the vacancy, and you are the likely candidate to continue her legacy. Another important part of the reason you're elected is to be a role model for others.

Finally Dear Dreamer, these things may be true "on the outside" when you are anticipating tricky situations with drama among family members; but your dream also points to the idea that this is something you must work on for yourself, below the surface --- the basement of a school gym, a place where things are learned and replayed. Perfect practice makes perfect!

Sweet Dreams to You!

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