The concept of "transition guides" or "death midwives" is not new. In fact, it's ancient. Since the beginning of time, humans have guided their dying loved ones gently through the door to the Other Side using whatever spiritual, emotional or social tools were available to them though their cultural and religious ideologies. But in modern America this practice is glaringly absent.
In 15th century European hospices it was understood that death is not the opposite of life, but the opposite of birth, or in a sense, the same as birth. In many of these hospices it was common to see women giving birth on one side of the room while people were dying on the other side, all guided by midwives, while minstrels strolled around playing soothing music. Death may not be the opposite of life, but it is certainly a part of life, and there are many world traditions that recognize and honor death as the sacred, intimate journey that it is.
But sadly, Judeo-Christian America has created a culture of denial around death, and hospice care is still not generally understood or accepted. In ancient times the word "hospice" literally meant ‘hospitality,’ a process of assisting travelers with their journeys, including the journeys of birth and death. In those times we lived closer to the land; we saw people and animals die all the time, and there was very little about it that was terrible or frightening. The terror came with religious doctrine and the concept of evil and punishment, which embedded the fear of death into our culture.
Thankfully, there are some excellent teachers and practitioners working today to educate the world about the practice of Conscious Dying. Here are just a few of them:
. Diane Goble trains individuals and professionals to serve as "transition guides" who work with dying patients and their families to address important issues before death (www.towardthelight.org/dianegoble.html). This process involves guiding the dying person to the Other Side using visualization, meditation and hypnotherapy techniques, but also brings in family members to resolve forgiveness issues, examine spiritual questions and work through anything that might stand in the way of a comfortable, conscious transition for patient and family.
. Joellyn St. Pierre, just published her book, "Death Midwifery" (www.deathmidwifery.com). In it, she shares information, traditions and rituals from other cultures and shows us how to incorporate an acceptance of death in our own lives by working closely with the death and dying issues rather than avoiding them.
. Maria Hoaglund is another excellent resource. She has a page here on Examiner (www.examiner.com/x-2858-Death--Grief-Examiner) and works as an end-of-life and grief coach, dedicated to bringing the subject of death back to life.
. Richard Groves' program, The Anamcara Project (www.sacredartofliving.org/anamcaraproject.htm) is one of the best curriculums in existence for teaching people how to embrace death.
. Kelsey Collins (www.exitstrategy-thebook.com) has written an excellent book detailing why everybody -- especially elders -- should develop an "exit strategy" for a conscious death.
There are many qualified, extraordinary people doing this work, and we're all doing it purely from passion (very few of us are able to make a living at it). But many of us are routinely met with opposition from hospices, grief groups, hospitals and religious organizations, so our audiences tend to be limited to spiritual seekers and New Agers. While our target market includes every living person on earth, the demand for this information is barely measurable.
One of the objections we hear most often is that guiding a dying person to the Other Side with the help of his/her family might be offensive or challenging to the family's religious beliefs. This is an absurd misconception. We do not impose our spiritual views on anybody. If the dying person hopes to be carried away in the arms of the angels and go through pearly gates to go a heavenly home with Jesus, we lovingly encourage it, because all these experiences are very real. We support any religious belief a person chooses. If they're terrified of burning in Hell, we work with their fears and unresolved emotional issues to help them find peace and gently steer them toward the unconditional love that exists in the higher realms.
Coming to place of acceptance and peace is vital to the process of Conscious Dying. Yet we are selling a product that nobody wants. Most people don't think they need to work on issues surrounding death (spiritual ideologies, forgiveness, the meaning of life) because religion taught them that it will all be dealt with after death in some sort of final Divine judgment. The belief that we don't have to do anything about these questions while we're on earth takes the responsibility for our souls out of our hands and places it elsewhere, leaving us confused and powerless.
In the words of Diane Goble:
"A life threatening diagnosis is a wake-up call to include the practice of conscious dying in your overall treatment plan. Meditation and guided imagery, with the help of a trained Transition Guide, can be used for practicing to die before we die.
Most of us aren’t prepared for our return to the spiritual world. Our first reaction may be fear and resistance to what’s happening, and we may try to go back to what is familiar to us. This is why it's important to have someone guide us through the various stages and assure us that we will not have to face wrath or judgment. When dying is considered an integral part of life, essential to one’s spiritual growth and conscious evolution, people are free to be more open with their feelings and compassionate in their caring. They are able to express their feelings and beliefs about death, dying, and the afterlife. The dying are able to put their lives in perspective and the family is able to be supportive. With the shared realization that we don’t die, we simply grow and move on to the next developmental stage of life, we are all able to help each other deal with our shared loss and grief over the temporary separation caused by the death of the body."
THIS ARTICLE WAS EXCERPTED FROM TERRI DANIEL'S BOOK, EMBRACING DEATH: A NEW LOOK AT GRIEF, GRATITUDE AND GOD. PLEASE VISIT www.embracingdeath.net
Comments