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Death by Cheez-Its

Must have another
Must have another
photo by Gregory Son

Sometimes there is something so deviously addictive that one must have another. Is it the real cheddar cheese taste of a Cheez-it?

Is it the perfect crunch of a Cheez-It? Is it Cheez-It’s small size that just begs you to be able to have just one more? The answer to each of these questions is a resounding yes!

If allowed to indulge in this kind of snack fantasy, one must realize, well in advance, that after approximately the first, cute, thirty-five or forty, one-inch bites, a tall glass of a favorite beverage will be vitally important. If not, beside the fact that one has no more saliva with which to swallow the next handful, there will be no way to enjoy any more of this savory goodness without it.

Gulp down that drink as quickly as possible, just to clear the palate enough to facilitate the next go-round of these lovely Cheez-Its. Someone once said, “try a thin slice of cheese on your next Cheez-It”. Good idea, only that cheese slicing will certainly slow up one’s ability to consume mass quantities. Perhaps a dip for these golden gems is called for. Nope. That will not only slow down the rate of consumption, but will cause one’s thirst to become even more pronounced than having Cheese-Its, alone. Worry not! Having some more, or perhaps having another box, will probably only mean another trip to the store and another investment in plenty more of that favorite beverage. Besides, someone has to keep Sunshine, the manufacturers of Cheez-Its, in business!