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Dear Married Men...

To quote one of my favourite writers/ kiddie porn enthusiasts; Lewis Carroll, “Beware the Jabberwocky, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!” I have met the Jabberwocky, and he is a married man.

Now, I try my darndest to avoid gender stereotypes, and I firmly believe that anything a man is capable of, so is a woman. And Vice Versa. I’m not talking about breaking glass ceilings and ghettoizing Womens professions either. School is out for the summer, and we’ll leave the feminist theory journals to the pros. I’m talking about sexual prowess, and deviant, misfit, no goodnik behaviour.
I have had some experience in the field of sexual deviants, hell, I am one. And there is nothing wrong with getting your rocks off, but I take serious issue with these crazy snatch bound married men that will not stop seeking out young, idealistic, tail. How did these people develop their whole lives, get jobs, and significant others, with the self confidence of a low hanging lone testicle? It’s people who hate themselves who have no problem hurting the people who love them, and the people who could love them.

It’s hard enough for single people to navigate through the unwashed masses of psychological problems, weirdo (and sometimes amusing) sexual dysfunctions, and adorable disappointments, without having to deal with the festering roadblocks that are married people just looking for reassurance that they are still a hot commodity.

A final word of Caution to the adulters out there; young girls are not around to satiate your every whim. As stupid and naive as you think we are for falling into your Jabberwocky like claws, you are all the more deficient for not seeing that our emotional intelligence trumps yours, and we see through you like cellophane on a hot day. Checkmate Bitches.


  • GP 5 years ago

    Umm my wife takes the kids to school at 7am can you meet me in the morning at about 7:30? Ill be the guy with the smoked meat breath at the end of the driveway on Ryan st. YA I EAT SMOKED MEAT FOR BREAKFAST

  • andrea 5 years ago

    Wow. What a good harp! Those married men won't be asking you out anymore...and you know what I'm talkin' about--

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