My daughter goes to school with a girl who she likes but the mother does not like me in the least. She won't even be civil to me. She refuses to even say hello. This all stems from a letter I wrote principal about her older son and his bad behavior in the cafeteria a couple of years back. I didn't even know her at the time since my daughter was new to the school and I didn't like what I was hearing about this kids behavior. Should I tell my daughter to play with someone else or should I let it go?
Mom in Connecticut
JUNE: Dear Mom, sounds like you are dealing with a very immature woman. If her son was acting up in the lunch room to the point where you needed to say something to the school then she should be apologizing not "snubbing" you. Kids get over things so quickly, it is the adults that need to grow up and move one. Holding petty grudges is about as babyish as you can get. She can play with the girl in school but don't hold your breath for a play date. To all the moms out there who are holding on to a grudge with someone, grow up, move on and make nice. It is so much less energy to be nice and smile at someone than to feel pissed off and angry. Really, is it that bad?
FLORA: Refuses to say hello? Oh boy....Let your daughter play with her but do not let on that there is tension between you and the other mother. Try to pull the Mom aside and explain that you notice there is some tension and you want to clear the air, share with her some nice things her daughter does that your daughter likes and maybe she can move on. Forgiveness is the answer. Love her and hope for the best.
JUNE: Real world alert! Real world alert! This writer just said the lady is petty and immature. Can you imagine walking up to her and saying, "I love your daughter plays hopscotch!" and having her hug you and say she loves you too. Sheesh, I feel like I am on the Brady bunch. That stuff don't work here in reality town.
Why doesn't cancer make some people nicer? Wouldn't you think people would reflect on things more after facing such a frightening issue? My cousin is just as mean as ever after surviving cancer. What do you think?
Don't get it in Mass
FLORA: It does for some; just not your cousin. I guess it reminds me of the 'mean old lady' or the 'mean old man'; they were mean young people. Something makes your cousin mean. You can pray for him/her that they get to the root cause of the bitterness. Life is so much nicer with the freedom of a happy heart. You can always find a book that may be appropriate for this situation and mail it.
JUNE: Dear don't, I would absolutely think facing possible death and fighting such a difficult fight would make someone reflect on the past and put the future into perspective. The problem is some people are just a certain way and nothing is going to change the anger they have inside. Some people may feel they didn't deserve to be sick and they may be angrier after the ordeal. Perhaps, whatever makes your cousin a nasty person in the first place is what makes him/her not reflect in the face of adversity. Wish your cousin well and stay away.
Housewives' Book Nook
June's book pick of the month is Schuyler's Monster by Robert Rummel-Hudson. It was about a little girl diagnosed with Bilateral Perisylvian Polymicrogyria, a neurological condition that left her unable to speak. The book is written by her father and tells their story of getting the proper diagnosis to starting school and fighting to get her the proper education and all the items she needed for that. It was heartwarming and inspirational.
I must also recommend the book by Christopher Anderson, Somewhere in Heaven. This is about Christopher and Dana Reeve and the ordeal they went through with his paralysis from a horseback riding accident and her eventual death from lung cancer. It was heart wrenching to read about how quickly and tragically life can change but they were quite a couple and she was quite a woman.
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Sincerely, June and Flora