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Dean McDermott admits to drug use, suicidal thoughts on ‘True Tori’

On Tuesday night’s episode of “True Tori,” actor Dean McDermott revealed more details about what drove him to have a two-day fling with a 28-year-old Canadian woman, Emily Goodhand, last year. The actor and father of five confided in a friend who asked him why he cheated on his wife Tori Spelling.

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - MARCH 11: Actress Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott attend John Varvatos 9th Annual Stuart House Benefit presented by Chrysler held at John Varvatos Los Angeles on March 11, 2012 in West Hollywood, California.
Photo by Michael Kovac

Wetpaint Entertainment posted a clip from the second episode of the Lifetime reality show on Tuesday, which showed McDermott giving this brutally honest answer: "Cause I didn't think that I would get caught."

“True Tori” follows the couple as they try to mend their broken relationship following McDermott’s highly publicized Toronto fling. But the actor is dishing out surprisingly personal details, so much so that production of the reality show had to briefly shut down following some troubling comments he made about suicidal thoughts.

"I was drinking and using drugs, man. I was not dealing with things that happened to me in the past,” McDermott told a family friend on the episode. “I have a brain that wants to kill me, I have a brain that wants me dead, that's how the alcoholic mind works and thinks. Have a couple cocktails, do a couple lines, shut it down after three lines.”

The episode also featured the estranged couple’s visit to a therapist. While talking to Dr. Ann Wexler, McDermott dropped this bombshell: “The days leading up to my breakdown, I wanted to disappear,” he said, “I just thought, 'This is it. You can't get out of this. Tori deserves me to die.” McDermott later clarified that he no longer feels that way, but not before producers halted the cameras to make sure he was stable enough to continue production of the docu-series.

While Spelling expressed concern over the father of her four children (Spelling and McDermott are parents to Liam, 7, Stella, 5, Hattie, 2, and Finn, 1) talking about his suicidal tendencies with the cameras rolling, it seems no personal detail is off limits for this reality TV couple. The show is taped in almost-real time, which means Spelling’s recent six-day hospital stay will also be explained on the show.

While the details of Spelling’s medical scare have been kept under wraps, the stress of her personal life played a role in her hospital stay, according to Us Weekly. Cameras reportedly followed Spelling and her husband to the hospital to document the entire medical drama, so you can expect to get the whole scoop later this season on “True Tori.”

“True Tori” airs on Tuesdays at 10 p.m. on Lifetime.

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