Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.– Susan Scarf Merrell
When a sibling dies, the world changes in a heartbeat. Bonds created and shared are shattered and special occasions are forever changed. There are no more shared birthdays, holidays, or telephone calls. There is only an empty hole in the heart, longing for one more yesterday.
What are some of the symptoms that may occur after the death of a sibling? All of these are normal.
- Restlessness.
- Sleepless nights.
- Uncontrollable tears.
- Inability to talk about the loss – shutting down.
- Depression.
- Distraction, irritability, or inattentiveness.
- Mood swings.
- Feeling overwhelmed or alone, with no one to talk to.
- Anger toward God, others, and sometimes toward the one that passed away.
What are some of the appropriate ways to heal the pain?
- Keeping your loved one's spirit and memories alive by telling stories from the past.
- Forgiving yourself for fights, and arguments you may have had.
- Writing in a journal.
- Prayer.
- Creating through art.
- Remembering through music.
- Finding a friend who will listen and comfort your pain.
- Talking to your deceased brother or sister. They are listening.
- Finding special ways to celebrate and honor your loved one's journey.
- Finding the gifts your sister/brother left behind and holding those gifts close to your heart.
What are some of the things that aren’t encouraged to ease the pain?
- Turning to drugs and alcohol.
- Hurting others because you hurt so much yourself.
- Discontinuing the things that once meant something to you.
When a sibling dies, you not only lose a part of your past, but you also lose your present and your future. Your loved one wants you to keep living, to create the best life you can for yourself. They last thing they want is for you to remain stuck. The following sites can assist siblings in dealing with their grief in the Charleston area.
Grief & Bereavement Support
1. Grief Support at MUSC Children's Hospital takes the form of a program called, PASSAGE, or Parent and Sibling Support Affecting Grief Experiences. PASSAGE seeks to provide an organized approach to ongoing support for all families experiencing the loss of a child. http://www.musckids.com/ourservices/supportgroups.html
2. Hospice of Charleston Foundation:www.hospiceofcharleston.com/
Comments