The kids are picked up and dropped off late, the new husband is screaming and yelling at you, and your kids simply do not want to go away this weekend. What are you to do?
It's very challenging when your kids are visiting a parent every other weekend. It's natural for your children to want a stable and loving home, want 2 parents in the household, and spend time with friends on the weekends, or at sporting events. You want your kids to love and respect and be a part of everyone's lives. But, what are you suppose to do when the ex is treating the kids negativity and really hurting their feelings? The court papers say, "Every other weekend." You, as the parent, aren't wanting to be in contempt and you alway want your children to feel safe and good and loved all the time. How far do you go as the custodial parent in forcing a relationship with your ex and the kids?
It's a very tough decision and very challenging to deal with. You have to follow court orders, right? It's important for your children to be open, honest, and respectful to each parent. The kids need to express their feelings. Parents need to realize the older your kids get the less you see them. Teens are very busy, sports, school, friends, jobs. You can not as a parent restrict the kids from being involved in their life, school, friends just because it's your weekend. You, as the parent need to be flexible. Parents can go to the sporting events, school activities, come up during the week just to visit. Instead of Friday to Sunday, let the child do something on Friday night once in a while and pick them up on Saturday. It's important as parents to build a relationship in a postive way. You need to show support for your child.
There are a lot of hurt feelings when parents split up, how is your child(ren) adjusting to that? How do they feel toward you being the parent that is not there every day? Each family is different, but in most families, the children are feeling more than they let on.
Keep communication open and honest. Be the parent that is involved and flexible. Show your child you want a great relationship, but also that you understand they are growing up. Call your kids, email, text, get on facebook with them. There are so many ways now a days to communicate with your children. Even a simple text message each day shows you are thinking about them.
Do you remember when you were a kid, a teenager? How often did you hang out with your parents? Remember it's not about hurting your feelings, it's about being a child. Do not expect your kids to think like an adult or a parent, they won't and they can't.
It's a tough road ahead...don't give up.
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