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Dealing with rejection when meeting new people

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There is something of vital importance that everyone needs to remember as you make your way out in to the world of dating. You will be rejected, and probably quite often. That is just a fact of life. There is not a person in the history of dating that has not faced rejection, which is perfectly natural. In spite of what media tells you, there is no sure-fire way to get a person’s attention.

The question then becomes, how do you deal with rejection?

Over the last year there have been some disturbing actions involving men feeling rejected or hurt by women (here and here), most of which can be summed up in one word: entitlement. The actions of the men in both of those reports fall in to the more extreme category, but if you go to any bar in Toronto on a Friday night you will see men belittling women and calling them terrible names because their advances were rejected. There is a very plain and simple rule that you need to keep in mind in any interaction with someone you are interested in, you are not entitled to anything ever from another person, whether it be physical or emotional.

When you do face rejection, be respectful about it. A simple, ‘no problem,’ followed by ‘have a good night,’ identifies that you are not a creep just trying to score. Showing respect in the face of rejection could also help you as you try and meet other people as you are likely to get more positive responses as people see you are a positive person. Though be respectful because it is the right thing to do, not because you can use it as a tool to meet people.

Finally, something that will help you deal with rejection immensely is to remember that it is nothing personal. Yes, you are being incredibly vulnerable by putting yourself out there while trying to meet other people and getting rejected can feel like you are personally being rejected, but that is not the case. There are so many reasons that a person may have no desire to want to meet you, and it can pretty much be guaranteed that not a single one of them have anything to do with you as a person.

The dating world can be an intimidating arena, but we are all in this together, so let us work together and make rejection a slightly better experience.

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