A man visited a kennel in South South Jose that specialized in guard dogs. He explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel to help protect his business. “My competitor keeps snooping around,” he explained.
The kennel owner smiled. “Ah. I have just the dog for you. Follow me.”
The first dog they came to snarled at them, clawing at the cage.
"He looks like he'd be a pretty good guard dog," said the buyer.
"Well, he's not bad," replied the owner, "but I have a different one in mind for you."
They continued to the next cage where there was a larger, meaner looking dog. He snarled at the two men while viciously biting on the wire of his cage.
"Ah," said the buyer. "This must be the dog, then."
"Well, no." said the owner. "I have one better in mind for you."
The owner led the man to a thick wooden door with heavy iron hinges and lock. The owner took out an ancient looking key, unlocked the door and then pushed it open, gesturing for the buyer to step in. The man complied a rising sense of trepidation. He quickly glanced around as he entered. The room was large, mostly empty and dark. In the very center, under a single glaring floodlight, was an exceptionally strong looking metal cage. Inside was a huge dog lying on his side, panting heavily and furiously licking his rump.
"This is the dog I had in mind for you," said the owner.
The two men stood there for a long time without the dog showing any awareness of their presence.
"You're joking!" the buyer exclaimed. "This dog doesn't even act like a guard dog. He wouldn’t attack anybody. He just keeps licking his butt!"
"I know he appears tame now," said the owner. "He just came back from a political rally where an opponent rented him to set loose to eat the speaker. He also ate the opponent. He’ll be back to his old self as soon as he can get the taste out of his mouth."
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Woof for Now
Wrapping my arms around all things Dog.
