Dating is the most impossible task on the planet. There are so many things to think about. Hair, the perfect shirt, the perfect place to meet. While you are preparing for a date you may be running a million scenarios through your head. What will you say? What will you talk about?
Imagine for just a moment, that you think you have discovered the perfect date. Maybe he or she is the one. Tall, dark and handsome. Or, light, short and gorgeous. It is all a matter of personal preference really. What if this same "perfect date" has a disability. Would you have the same feelings for that person?
Would it matter if the disability was physical or psychiatric in nature? Do you think dating a person with a disability would be any less amazing than dating someone with what some people may refer to as "abilities?" Could the possibility exist that individuals labeled gifted and talented are just as likely to be disabled as those that have traditionally been considered "handicapped?"
If you are ready to dive into the world of people that are labeled as differently "able" than you, whether in body, mind, or spirit then the odds are high that you will meet some of the most extraordinary people on the planet. At the same time, it is quite possible you will broaden your dating horizons. In fact, the odds are probably pretty good that you have already dated someone with some kind of disability, because there are dozens of disabled people that have hidden disabilities.
Hidden Versus Visible Disabilities
Most people come to consider a disability with something they can "see" with their eyes. But, there are millions of people that have disabilities that are hidden or invisible. This does not always mean that a person with a hidden disability has a psychiatric disability, although this is possible. Hidden disabilities, sometimes called invisible disabilities, can include:
- Learning Disabilities
- Myalgic Encephalomyelitis
- Rheumatoid Arthritis/Arthritis
- Traumatic Brain Injuries
- Certain Cancers
- MS and other Neurological Conditions
- Heart Conditions...
The list goes on. On a first date, it is probably safe to assume that many people would rather not shout out, "Hey, nice to meet you and by the way, I have a disability!!!" There are always exceptions to the rule.
While an individual in a wheelchair cannot hide the fact they are in a wheelchair, unless they are Harry Houdini, an individual that has a learning disability, epilepsy, RA, or other disease may not want you to look their disability in the eye when starting a relationship. And, by announcing to the world that they have an invisible disability, this is exactly what happens.
Not all relationships work out; thus, most people prefer not to toss their entire deck of cards on the table on a first date. Sometimes it is nice just to have dinner. Also, it's important to note that sometimes a date is just that ... a date; a date isn't necessarily marriage and four kids. There are those that argue that it is absolutely necessary to reveal everything about an individual's personal life on the first date.
That may be true. But it is seldom realistic. Would you tell your first date every minute detail of your life on the first date? Perhaps it may be funner to share some light, amusing and interesting information over a glass of wine and fondue?
First Date Foibles
Like any first date, an individual with a hidden disability, or any disability, wants you to see them as a whole person, not as a disability. Having a disability can sometimes fill an individual with worry and anxiety. The person with a disability may also worry that you will concentrate too much on worrying about them, when they are not particularly worried about themselves.
Remember, the odds are good that someone with a condition has learned to treat and manage it well, and simply wants to go out and have a good time.
So go out and have a good time.
Why not ask your date something about their favorite interests instead? How about concentrate more on their goals in life, and what the two of you have in common? You may actually find you make a love match, rather than experience a high-pressure date.
If you end up making a good connection, the two of you can work out the rest as time goes on, just like any other couple.
Denver Dating Resources
Rock Mountain Singles - Dating in Denver
Denver Speed Dating - Try Something New and Daring
Denver Christian Speed Dating - Speed Dating for Christian Singles