Certainly, not every relationship is meant to go the distance and conclude at the altar, but that doesn't mean the relationship itself was a failure and has no value. When you've invested time, energy and emotions into a relationship it can be quite a challenge to let it go. Avoid unnecessary heartbreak and stop wasting time in dead-end relationships. Here are my top ten warning signs which indicate a “crash and burn” may be in your future:

1. Your Partner Continues to be Involved with an Ex. This is an extremely common problem, as many people have a hard time letting go of the past. If this problem is plaguing your relationship, you may notice that the Ex’s name comes up frequently, and there may be regular phone calls, visits or arguments between them. Can we say “rebound?” Remember, even if there are young children involved in the previous relationship, there are ways for the parents to step aside and make peace with the past. Realistically, it often takes years for some people to heal their hearts and be fully ready for love again. Are you prepared to wait for something that may never come? Statistically speaking, the rebound rarely becomes the new long-term mate. You may have your partner physically, but the Ex retains control of their heart and mind. Don’t waste months or even days of your time fighting ghosts of the past.
2. Your Partner is Unavailable. Desperation and anxiety over being single may cause you to put your checklist aside and latch onto Mr. or Ms. Wrong like a life raft! You may find yourself repeatedly involved in passionate relationships with married men, people that are addicts or alcoholics, mentally or emotionally disturbed, or workaholics that don’t have time. Women also involve themselves with convicts that have decades-long sentences, or in non-committal FWB relationships that leave you wanting more than just sex. Whether what takes your partner away emotionally or physically is work, hobbies, sports or another relationship, it is important to understand that everyone makes time for things and people that are important to us. If your partner repeatedly refuses to devote the time needed to develop closeness and emotional intimacy, your relationship is on the fast track to nowhere.
3. Incompatibility / Incompatible Life Goals. Maya Angelou puts it best: "when someone shows you who and what they are, believe them!" If you know you want marriage and a family but find yourself dating a man that wants nothing to do with being "tied down" with "snot nosed rug rats" you are involved in a situation that will go nowhere. If you are the type that enjoys sharing your life and doing things with your partner as much as possible, but s/he would rather be with friends or alone, your relationship will never be gratifying or make you happy. If you enjoy cuddling, kissing, PDAs and sex at least 3 times per week, but your partner never wants to kiss or hug except when they want sex once per month, your relationship will cause you a lot of frustration. If you enjoy getting out, meeting people and traveling the world, but your partner is a stay-at-home loner, you will also experience a lot of loneliness. What is the point of pursuing a relationship with someone that leaves you feeling unloved, alone and lonely when you know its going to end anyway?
4. Jealous, Possessive, Controlling or Abusive Behavior is Displayed. Abuse can be insidious and not easily recognizable, but most abuse leaves either physical bruises and damaged self-esteem. Pushing, name-calling, pinching, slapping, arm-twisting, intimidation, damaging your property to “get you back,” undue suspicion that puts you on edge, or things are said that wound you to your soul are examples. Repeated threats to withdraw from the relationship is another way an abusive person wages a campaign of fear to get the upper hand. If you are hurt physically, fearful of your partner for any reason, or insulted/demeaned verbally even once, get away from that individual and out of the relationship immediately.
5. You Demand That Your Partner Change. Anytime the phrase “you should…” comes out of your mouth, you are judging. Anytime the words “why don’t you …” come out of your mouth, you are expressing a lack of acceptance and trying to change someone. True love is constructed on a foundation of respect, commonality and acceptance; when we love someone, we allow them to be who and what they are. A relationship is headed for rough waters when one of you expends energy trying to manipulate the other into becoming what YOU think they should be. If there is such a vast difference in values, beliefs or lifestyles that you find your mate’s preferences to be distasteful, you two have a real problem. Incompatible sexual beliefs, lifestyle, and/or gender role expectations will be the source of insurmountable rifts.
6. You’ve Caught Your Mate in One or More Lies. Honesty and the trust it establishes is at the core of any loving relationship. Lying compulsively is a serious character flaw, and one of which you should take notice. A liar won’t ever change. Instead of making excuses, ask yourself what is it that your mate is trying to hide or pretend to be to keep you? Overt lying is a significant relationship time bomb, and withholding vital information is a close second. If you’ve caught your mate in lies or found out things s/he withheld from you that were of vital importance, and you now feel that you cannot trust him or her, why do you stay even another second?
7. You Fight Constantly with Frequent Break-Ups and Make-Ups. Are you two really THAT incompatible that you rarely agree on anything? Happy couples with long-term relationships do not fight and break up repeatedly, so the sooner you end things, the better. The longer we are around someone, the more emotionally bonded we become, and the harder it is to leave the relationship. Some couples stay together only because neither has the courage to end things, afraid of hurting the other. Yet, the reality is that the battleground created while dating will carry over into a marriage… marrying changes nothing about how you interact with each other. If you find yourself daydreaming about how peaceful and happy your life would be without him or her in it and happily looking forward to crossing paths with people you haven't had the opportunity to meet yet, you're ready to go. Free yourself from the chains of dependency and habit, which is really all these types of relationships consist of.
8. You Overgive and Oversacrifice. We should all strive to be considerate of others, to give to our partners, and to negotiate compromise when we can. The brakes must be put on if giving means you sacrifice your safety, financial stability or health just to have a relationship. You put aside rewarding hobbies, interests, loving friends and family at your mate’s request. Some of you may voluntarily sacrifice these things to spend more time with your partner and be available based on his or her schedule. If you've ever allowed your man to take your car to play while you and your child stand in the cold and rain to go to daycare and work, you are overgiving. If you are doing more work to "fix" the relationship and save it than your partner is, you are doing too much. Demand equality in giving and receiving in your relationship. If such equality is not forthcoming, recognize that this relationship has a short life-span; you’ll be used until you are used up then discarded for the next sucka.
9. Your Relationship Lacks Respect. Respect is difficult to define, but some of the elements of respect include really listening to your partner, and demonstrating consideration for their feelings and concern for their well-being. Being on time for dates and following through on promises made demonstrates that you are valuable and important, and also shows respect. Respect your mate by supporting and encouraging her, treating him with consideration, and being at least as polite with "please" and "thank you!" as you are to strangers. A partner that always interrupts and talks over you, is always critical, puts you down, laughs at and taunts you, or makes you feel ashamed is not respectful. Nor is a partner respectful who verbally attacks you with name-calling and screaming. Some singles are so anxious to find love that they desperately attach themselves to the first person that shows any interest, no matter how inappropriate.
10. You Can’t Remember The Last Time You Two Had Sex. If you no longer feel even the least bit attracted to your mate mentally or physically, the chemistry between you may be gone. Sometimes relationships are full of hidden anger and one or both partners slide into cold indifference. Sexual desire is a strong component of romantic love; thus, if you have no feelings of romance, and no desire for kisses, caresses or sex, your relationship has deteriorated to the point where you are nothing more than buddies and your love affair is over.

Use these tips to review the current state of your relationship; see things as they are, not as you'd wish they would be, or hope they would become with a "little more work." Don't shortchange yourself and give up your right to have a life full of joy and passion, sacrificing your need for fulfillment just to have a warm body around! If things are going downhill, save weeks or even months of your time by having the courage to end your dead-end relationship sooner rather than later.

Listen to the February 28, 2010 BlogTalkRadio.Com broadcast of The Date Smarter Not Harder Relationships Talk Show, as we discuss the issue of Dead End Relationships.