In a relationship, it’s usually safe to say the woman has far more to lose than the man (sorry, gents, until you can get pregnant, this is true). So, if you want to protect your heart and save your precious time, here’s some cautionary advice.
Keep your pants on until these elements are in place:
- You're dating each other exclusively.
- Your primary dating purposes are in alignment. If you're sincerely seeking marriage and kids, for example, simply do not "go there" with anyone who's not also on this same path. If you've not yet had that conversation and you don't know the other person's longer term plan, keep your pants on.
- You've had the touchy and oh-so-critical conversations about birth control and safe sex / STD's. Have you been tested since your last sexual relationship? Has he? It may seem unromantic, but there are ways to handle this so that it can be an opportunity for passion and not so clinical.
For example, one couple, Steven and Margaret, once things started heating up and they became exclusive, went to the clinic together to get tested, and then when their tests came back clean (WHEW!), they celebrated with a fantastic bed-and-breakfast weekend that was off the charts romantic and joyous.
Remember high school? We had lots of fun with our pants on, didn't we? Sex is actually MUCH more satisfying when we've waited a while for it, and it's more along the lines of lovemaking than cheap, casual sex. It's worth the wait.
Seriously, what’s caused you more heartache: regret over someone you didn’t sleep with or having sex with someone that has you saying, "What was I thinking?”
One final keeping your pants on tip - One drink only, ladies.
There's a one word answer for why alcohol was put on the planet. Procreation. We're compelled by our biology to want to have sex. Be smarter than your biology and keep your pants on until you KNOW you're with the right guy.