LADIES DON'T DATE THIS GUY - JERK ALERT:
If you run across John8999 on Evow.com, 8999John, SC 8999 on any other online dating site BEWARE! Last summer I dated John J who described himself on the site: “DIVORCED”, he said “I am very loyal and have never cheated…I am looking for a LTR hopefully with a Christian woman or someone who is interested in investigating a Christian life… I am not perfect and do not expect you to be perfect. I am not the jealous type. I trust that we are faithful to each other.”
Sounds like what every woman is looking for doesn’t it? He is an Emotional Scammer, and unfortunately, he dishonors his purported Marine background and he mocks his Christian ethics (especially since he said he was a retired minister) because he is not truthful. One of his lies was that he had been divorced for two 1/2 years.
We had a whirlwind courtship, he proposed and we had planned to be married in November 16, 2013 at his church in Sun City, AZ. I started attending his church and we were making arrangements for the wedding and reception with Pastor Neil and the Ladies Guild. It may seem like our relationship went really fast but we are AARP age and his church didn't believe in living together before marriage. We had both been married before so we planned on a small wedding, we were going to do e-vite invitations. I asked for his son and grand children's email addresses but he said he didn't have them, he always talked to them on the phone. John had told me on our 1st date I was free to do a background check (my business does background checks for Singles) which I did and he was not a criminal or financially unstable: liens or bankruptcies. John said he had no secrets and I could have free reign of his home and look at anything in his house, he proudly showed me his Marine Officers uniform and his clerical robe. During a family emergency (*SEE BELOW) in the middle of September 16-21, I was looking for contact info for his family and I came across his divorce papers UNSIGNED dated 7/13/2013, which I must not have put back exactly as I found them because before I had a chance to ask him about his still being married he picked a fight, broke the engagement and told me to leave, which I did. It would have been difficult to get married since he was still MARRIED ! I will never know for sure what other lies he told me, at this point I suspect everything he told me.
*Early September he started commenting that he hadn't spoken to his grandson -a Marine stationed in England and granddaughter who was there helping provide moral and physical support for her brother's critically ill baby daughter Kat ,who was six months old. Life had been so stressful they decided to go to France for a few days holiday, Baby Kat's Mom wouldn't leave her. John said he was really getting worried and told me he even asked the military to start investigating their whereabouts. On Sept 16, 2013 he sent me a text that the "WORST" had happened - both his adult grand children (his daughter Kat's) had died in a car crash in Grenoble, France and that he was en-route to handle the final details; cremation and transporting ashes back to the U.S. to dispose of their ashes in the Tidal Basin in Washington, DC ( where their Mother's ashes were).
For 4 days he was emailing me about how helpful the military of both the US and French had been, details of the crash, how he couldn't sleep, needing to be sedated and how devastated he was. He returned naturally bereft... Pastor Neil even came and prayed with him over his LOSS, afraid that he couldn't handle such devastation; first his daughter Kat then her children dying in car crashes within 3 1/2 years. I thought I would give him a bit of time to grieve before I asked about the divorce papers. (By the way there was nothing on any internet site about the accident in French or English).
I posted our break up on Facebook as I had our engagement and October 7th was contacted by a women, she saw our engagement & break up and thought she should let me know that John J was still married to her - Wife #6. Thanks to Wife #6 I was able to be in contact with Wife #5 and get more background info. Both Wives 5 & 6 are really nice ladies and we have become friends. He had told Wife #6 the same tragic story about his daughter Kat dying in a car crash 3 years before and that she had given him his much prized 1992 Mercedes convertible. He never told her about his 2 adult grandchildren (Kat's) or his sick great granddaughter that lived in England. Wife #5 had been with him for 20 years (until 2012) and told us that he hadn’t seen either of his children since they were in their teens and that she had never heard of any grandchildren. Wife #5 said yes he had been a California Highway Patrolman retiring due to disability, but had NEVER been a Minister during their 20 years together.
A Pastor of mine from WA state, who went on to be head of the NW Region of the Church checked and verified he was not listed as having been a minister in their synod. John J hated rice, supposedly because he had been a POW in Viet Nam leaving the Marines as a ranking officer. One of my Private Investigators a (retired Marine) has been unable to verify his service record..
John did have many good qualities; he was extremely intelligent, very affectionate, satisfying emotional and physical needs, supportive of my business, generous with loving little gifts but being truthful wasn’t one of them. Obviously, commitment wasn’t a problem for him since he was married 6 times that we know of. He found me a week after telling Wife #6 to leave in June, 2013, they had met in January, 2013 and married in March, 2013. He was already looking for #7 a couple of weeks after our break up. Thanks to him I know what to look for in my next relationship as well as ask for copy of a divorce decree.
This is obviously embarrassing for me to tell but I am doing it so he doesn’t become an “Emotional Scammer” for some other woman! He wasn't a financial scammer that I know of -except that he made Wife # 6 (who had asked for an annulment) wait until the end of November, 2013 to finalize their divorce over $3,000 in a joint bank account. Yes, I was very lucky to escape relatively unscathed but I was hurt because I trusted this man, then I became angry and didn’t want any other women to go through what I did. So if someone seems to be too good BE WARY, if I could be taken in so might you.
Look for the update in "Dating an Emotional Scammer the rest of the story..."