For those fortunate enough to have a successful marriage, one made of unconditional love, then this article is NOT for you. But for more than half of American’s who have loved and lost and found themselves alone in their 40s, then please, read on.
Many of us have found 10 or so quality years from a marriage that started with all good intentions. The careers were set, the home was bought, the children reared, and the dog followed. But at some point it all came crashing down. Now you find yourself married to your career, around the same people every day, and way past the bar scene. So, how do you meet people? Minus the occasional miracle in the checkout line, or the fortuitous flirtation at church functions, the options are limited. Or are they?
Enter, the dating web site. For a fee (though they all advertise “free”), you can post your bio and a description of the perfect mate, then sit back and wait for the emails to come rolling in. And they do, at an alarming rate. Most will just tell you that someone has looked at your bio, others will say this person wants to meet you. Meet? A total stranger? Online discourse is the best way to develop a knowledge base, and some trust of the mysterious person behind the picture.
Herein lies the problem. Every type of person exists on these sites. The scammers, who are after your money. There are those who profess that they are baggage free, but do not possess the wherewithal to understand that they ARE the baggage. Dangers abound on dating sites. Oh, there are the success stories; otherwise, these sites would not exist. And yes, there is always the possibility of finding that diamond in the rough.
To be honest, anyone who joins the online dating scene should take a personality test, a course on recognizing the dangers of strangers, and at the very least, a lesson in grammar. If you happen to be of the educated sect then you may not understand “I ur man handsome lol me all lone an want see sombdy you”. Yep. Is this a non-English speaker? Or just some uneducated text addict without concern for the conventions of proper English? Whether or not to find out is up to your time and money.
Not all people on dating sites are serial whackos. There are a few who want what you do- another chance at starting a life while there is still plenty of time to enjoy one. But be cautious and choosey. And do not get discouraged. The process takes time. And make this your credo right now, it is better to be safe and alone then alone with a psycho. And if they cannot write a coherent sentence, best bet is to just move on.