Recently, my friend told me she was going to read the very outdated "He's Just Not That Into You." If you recall, this book was made famous by Sex and the City and then later in movie form starring everyone and their mom. Although there are some highlights of good information, the book is more for entertainment purposes not for Biblical truth.
And I will say this now, even as you read this relationship article: No piece of relationship advice can possibly apply to every single person and every single situation. You have to learn to trust your judgment. And, if you can't trust your judgment, learn from your mistakes.
With that being said, I have heard quite a lot of bs be emitted from the mouths of babes. And, I'm not talking about children. Sometimes what guys are telling you is not that "they're just not that into you" but more "you just shouldn't be interested in them."
Hints you shouldn't be interested:
1. He says, I want to take things slow. If a guy needs to take things slow for whatever reason, their actions will set the pace. If he continues to say how slow he wants to take things while you're planning to spend time together every other day, he just means he doesn't want you to think "exclusive relationship" when he's thinking "not sure."
2. I need someone more spontaneous. True, spontaneity is attractive. But, what's not attractive is flakiness, non-committal attitudes or people who cannot make a plan. And, typically those who utter these words want their time to be free and don't want your time to be planned in case at the last minute they decide they want to hang out.
3. I'm not ready to date you. When you hear this, no matter what actions follow whether it be dinners, hand holding, sex, or some kind of mix, you have to take these words for what they are. He. does. not. want. to. date. you. You want to wait to see if someone is ready to date you some unknown time in the future when fabulous you is waiting now? I can write you a whole series of articles of things to do instead of waiting for something like that.
4. Excuses. Any to anyone. If you are with someone who cannot take responsibility for his actions or understand that problems are meant to be met with solutions not excuses save yourself the battle and keep looking. Relationships cannot work if one person is always the problem causer and the other is always the problem solver.
5. Exaggerations. If he says you are too needy, too emotional, too whatever he does not want to deal with, then he doesn't have to stick around to tell you. Everyone can change and in a relationship will need to learn how to compromise, but it goes back to the problem with no solution. If he says, "You are too needy." What are you to do with that information? Not need?
The best advice I can give for the frogs that you will inevitably meet before your prince is trust your gut. If you feel like things are wrong, that you're becoming someone you're not, you're suspicious or always waiting for the other shoe to drop, it is not worth the hassle. It will be a good lesson, but all it means is that you do not have a keeper and over time, you will be amazed at how easy they are to spot.