The start of a new year is always inspiring to me. Making a resolution provides a chance to wipe the slate clean, no matter how many mistakes I made the previous year. I can change things in my life.
Most people make traditional resolutions - a healthier diet, more exercise, less spending - but what about making changes in another way? There's something to be said for changing our behavior or attitudes so we can create more opportunities. For instance - what if you were to change the way you date in 2012?
Before you roll your eyes and proclaim that you know how to date but there aren't any good men/ women out there - let me remind you: half of the adults in the U.S. are single. Those are pretty good odds. And we live in L.A., not in some small town in South Dakota. There are many choices here. So chances are, you're not seeing things clearly.
Following are some resolutions to consider if you want to change your love life this year - specifically if you're dating in L.A.:
Drop the attitude. Sure, dating in L.A. is no picnic sometimes. People can be flaky, or users, or players, or a number of other things. But don't assume that most people you meet are going to be jerks. If you're meeting someone for the first time, keep an open mind and heart. Get to know him as a person rather than a stereotype - and they will return the favor.
Try new places. There's nothing wrong with meeting a first date for coffee or having drinks at a local bar. But if you keep going to the same places, you'll never get out of your rut. Try a new spot for each date and see how it goes. Or try something different - like walking dogs together or taking a bike ride. Get out of your comfort zone and see what happens.
Stop making excuses. If you go on five bad dates in a row, don't declare that all women suck or that all the good men are gay or taken. Dating is a process, and one that doesn't guarantee everyone you meet will be a good match or someone you're attracted to. The key is to keep dating, and to try dating outside of your preferences. If you date younger women, try dating older. If you usually date actors, try dating an accountant. People aren't stereotypes, so don't assume if they fall into a preferred category you'll click.
Renew. There's nothing wrong with taking a dating sabbatical if you're feeling depressed about the whole scene. Use time alone to pamper yourself and try things you've always wanted to do - like Italian cooking classes or surfing. Don't wait for a relationship to travel, do it now. You'll come back with a positive, healthy attitude when you're ready to date again - and you'll know more about yourself and what makes you happy.
Happy New Year!
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