Do you think you are good in bed?
This is a question we should all ask ourselves and maybe our partner as well. If you don’t want to hear the answer, chances are, you may not be. Becoming a good lover starts from wanting to be.
Have you ever noticed how some people just ooze sensuality by the way they walk, talk, dress, mannerisms & body language? By showing this sexual confidence, there is a very good chance they are in tune to the sensuous side of themselves! That is not to say that quiet introverted types are boring in bed, it may just take more work to find out in the initial stages upon meeting them.
(Many people are attracted to the cover of the book before reading it, and assume the contents inside are worth purchasing.)
It is really important to learn how to talk to your partner about sex before you get between the sheets. We all have different needs & preferences which may or may not be of interest to the other person. Many things can be learned about one another when the questions are relayed gently & diplomatically without the pressure of nudity. If someone is into S&M, fantasy role playing, threesomes or fetishes, it is sex etiquette 101 to tell your partner beforehand. Blindsiding them with your Zorro cape & whip in the bedroom may not be the best idea.
How does a person comfortably bring up “Sex” in a conversation when they are getting to know someone in Vancouver?
- Do not discuss sex on the first date. Get to know them a little first
- Kiss them first before any sexual discussions begins ~ you have to like “how” they kiss to want to move to the next level.
- Ask them what is important to them romantically
- Tell them where one of your erogenous zones is (other than the obvious areas!)
- Send them an email or text with a censored sexy message
- Tease them with tasteful flirtatious comments
- Ask them what is most important to them in a sexual relationship
- Tell them what you desire most in the bedroom ~ what makes you feel special
- Watch their body language when discussing sex ~ is it tense or relaxed?
- Start slowly with the questions & know when to back off
Why do some people seem to have an easier time with sexual discussions?
Self confidence is a big attraction to both sexes & the more attention & dating experience you recieve will help build your self esteem to even higher levels. Insecurity is the main reason for many relationships not getting to the next phase because nervousness will keep you from being comfortable "to ask or answer the questions." This takes time to develope so don't be hard on yourself if discussing sex isn't in your comfort zone right away. There are many dating coaches that can help you with this in Vancouver.
Have you ever noticed how “happy people” seem to have a little swagger in their presence? That is because they are probably having regular sex. Disgruntled people are usually void of sexual release & could even be lonely. It can become a repetitive cycle because the negativity worsens with each passing month of a sexless existence. (It would be great if we could just walk up & sniff our prey like the animal kingdom, but the human population is much more complicated than that.)
Ask yourself if you really like sex? If you can take it or leave it you may need to alter “that thinking.” So many people make this mistake & wonder why their partner doesn’t want to come home to them or takes on a lover! Find out what has turned you off and try to fix the problem. Ignoring it is not going improve your relationship or your everyday moral. Sex is a feel good part of life and when it is removed, you lose a part of yourself with it. How many times have you heard people say: “She/he needs to get laid?” ~ it’s because they usually do!
Questions to ask “yourself” about your bedroom antics:
- Are you an initiator?
- How secure are you with your body?
- Do you show your partner you are enjoying sex?
- Can your partner tell when you have an orgasm?
- Are you adventurous or repetitive?
- Do you vary the location or prefer sex only in the bedroom?
- Do you make eye contact when making love?
- Do you think “head nods” towards the bedroom are foreplay?
- Are you a communicator in bed? Light moans can be enticing.
- How loud are you in bed? Do they put a pillow over your head?
- Are you too quick to climax or too slow?
- Do you enjoy oral sex or do you have a hang-up about it?
- How routine are you in the bedroom & are you open to change?
Answering these questions truthfully can help you understand how you are in the bedroom. Practising them regularly will not only improve your sex life it will make you a great lover that your partner wants to run home to. It will put a spring in your step that will also put one in theirs. An active sex life is the key to a long & healthy relationship. Ask an older couple who has been married for many years what their secret is & you can bet that their sex life has always been an active one. Romance is also the remedy to staying young. It may not keep you winkle free but it will always keep a smile on your face with each approaching year.
Susan McCord @ http://www.yinyangtalk.com
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