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Dating Over 50

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At the age 50 most people had anticipated that they would be settling back and enjoying time with their spouse, children, and grandchildren. For many people this plan went awry whether it be divorce, widowed or just haven’t found the right person yet. Now you’re considering dating and you’re 50+ years old.

Think about what would make you a good catch or date for someone. Write down things you feel good about yourself, for example: your killer wit, cooking skills, sports, and attractiveness or physically fit.

Next, pick something about yourself that you think could use some improving then make the time to commit to improving it like losing a few pounds or sprucing up your wardrobe and set a goal to just do it. It’s never too late to improve or learn something new- in fact, it’s what keeps people feeling young.

When you’re ready to put the word out there to family, friends, coworkers and neighbors that you’re ready to start dating again and let them play matchmaker.

Knowing where to mingle or go to look for a prospective date is a start. Bars and nightclubs are for alcoholics and people in their twenties and thirties. Some good places are church groups, Parents Without Partners, Rotary clubs and dating sites geared for older people, for instance: Christian Mingle, Our Time and Match.com.

Always be open to meeting someone as you go through your day. The person standing next to you at the post office, at a museum, or while buying a bagel with cream cheese could be right for you. If you’re on the bashful side, think of it this way: The worst they can say is no.

Wear something age-appropriate without feeling like you’re stuck between dressing to young- or to old-for your age. The bottom line is, being comfortable in what you wear is essential. But “comfortable” does not mean it’s got an elastic waistband or has been hanging in your closet since the 80’s. Being comfortable means feeling good—even a little jazzed or sexy—when you look in the mirror. If you’re headed out to an event where you might meet someone and your clothes aren’t giving you that little lift, it’s time to go shopping, ideally with a buddy who can offer a second opinion.

Conversation on the date should stay on a positive note. Don’t talk about exes, cheating or anything that would make you look bad. Listen and be flexible by asking questions about your date’s life and learn about him/her.

Dating Dos and Don’ts:
-- DO dress presentably. Clean it up and go easy on the hair product.

-- DO know how to talk to a date. Bad line: "If your name weren't Ronni, what name would you want?" Good line: "You're a widow but out dating again? That's good for us."

-- DON'T leave a date sitting alone because you're too shy.

-- DON'T talk about marriage on a date.

-- DO come up with a reason for why you're in your 50s (or 60s) and have never met the right man/woman. It can be finessed.

-- DON'T accidentally take your date's drink. Pay attention to what you're doing.

-- DO know your selling points. If it's not your career -- and it can't always be -- come up with something you're good at.

-- DO act interested in what he’s/she's saying. Unless you just don't care.

Finally, you’ve made it thru the date and now comes the finale…he has brought you home and you’re at the doorstep. Do you kiss goodnight? Do you shake hands? Do you invite him in? If you invite him in do you offer just a nightcap or more than a nightcap? There are just so many options but according to studies that no matter how old you are you should always be prepared with condoms if the occasion should arise you’ll be prepared.

Condoms are a fact of life. Don't consider any other way, unless you are really monogamous and have both been tested. If you are in bed with a guy/girl and he/she doesn't have the guts to use a condom ... or he/she tries to convince you that one isn't needed ... RUN. He/ She is not worth a conversation, much less your body fluids and possibly your life.

Happy hunting for your next date and good luck.

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