There are some singles who are dating to look for a lifelong partner and others who enjoy being single and are dating with no goals of commitment involved. No matter what your dating “style” or what your goals are, let’s look at those who date more than 1 person at a time…And is there such a thing as dating too many people at one time? Is it unethical? Or should you “not put all of your eggs in one basket”? If you’re juggling a couple or a few…or a lot of dating partners….when does it become too much?
When you’re single and dating, you’re doing just that…dating. When 2 people decide that they like each other enough to see each other exclusively, it is then that dating changes over into a relationship. Many singles make the mistake of thinking that just because they are only dating 1 person…that the 1 person is only dating them! Until there’s a conversation about exclusivity, one should always assume that the other person is free to, and probably is, dating others.
Therefore, if you have not made the commitment to be exclusive with someone, you have every right to date more than 1 person. You may not want to…some people are a “1 woman man” or a “1 man woman”…and they don’t see the need to date multiple people…nor do they want to take their focus off of the person who they are trying to get to know. Others can be very jealous….this goes for both men and women alike…if they go out on a date with someone that they really like; they can very quickly become possessive…even after just 1 date! If you have or are dating someone and you think that they’re too possessive or jealous, Read more about Dating Someone Who's Acting Possessive.
So while there may be some reasons to date only 1 person, such as wanting to focus on just 1 person at a time…or maybe you only have a small amount of free time can couldn’t give 2 or more people enough time…It may be wise to not put “all of your eggs in one basket”.
If dating has taught us anything….it’s told us loud and clear that it takes a long time to get to know someone else…that months and months can go by before you realize that someone is not right for you….and that even if you’re falling for someone, they may not be falling for you. Therefore, if you keep your possibilities open and date more than 1 person at a time….does logic tell us that this increases our chances finding Mr. or Mrs. Right? Most likely. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find that one person who makes your heart soar.
If you date just 1 person at a time, during that time you are eliminating the possibility of meeting and getting to know a great guy or girl. The average single who works an average number of hours a week, can date from 1-3 people at the same time.
To be fair, never try to hide the fact that you are “single and dating” and don’t mislead anyone, it will just backfire in your face and you may find yourself with no dates!….If they bring up the subject of exclusivity, you can then decide if you’re ready or not…tell them the truth if you’re not ready and let them decide the next step.
And while it is a personal decision, this advice is meant toward those who are not “seriously” dating anyone…in other words, having sex. Juggling 2 or 3 people for casual dates is fine… having sex with 2 or 3 different people in the same week or two is simply dangerous and not fair to those who don’t know that you’re doing it!
When you want to be intimate with your dating partner, this is probably a good time to think about exclusivity. And for those of you who think that your dating someone who is “juggling”, they do have every right to do so if you haven’t had an agreement to be exclusive….but do ask them directly before you decide to sleep with them….Then you can both decide what to do from there.
And… How many is too many? When you find yourself slipping up with their names…when you can’t remember who does w hat for work…when you are constantly getting phone calls from everyone else while you’re on a date with one of them… realistically trying to juggle 4 or more people won’t lead you to anywhere good…you’ll be too stressed with juggling to truly enjoy the company of who you’re with and getting to know them.
Let’s say you are seeing 3 people…We’ll call them: A, B and C. You’ll see that as time goes by, any clicking you thought you felt with “B” goes away, so you’re just dating “A” and “C”….then you meet “D” at just about the same time that “A” stops calling you for no reason that you can fathom! It will be a flow of casual dates until that one day when you just know you’ve found “the one”….that one person who just lights up your heart and you both happily agree to date exclusively.
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