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Dating Misadventures: Volume I Extended

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This is going to play out like an anti-after school special for dating/flirting habits. Previously, I wrote an article referring to a mailman. Let's pretend that you like the mailman. He comes every day to see you (deliver the mail) at your work creating a giddy cliche of "man in uniform" daydreams. Your coworker gives him your number with a heart dotting the "i" in your name (you are 23 years old), and witty texting ensues. (Please see this and this regarding witty texting.) The long bout of texting turns into no date ever and a particularly pooptastic diss from the fella which leads you to grab a friend, pick a place on your state map and drive all day to get there for some luncheon excitement and distraction.

Fast forward months later having seen Mr. Postman every single day since, and he is saying he lost your phone number and you should chat again. You exchange numbers, because your dating history has involved learning from movies that all romantic endeavors have closure. While you know this is blissful naivete, you hope for the best and approach him a bit wiser. No more confusion - you aren't a hook up. You like nice people. He says he is nice, but his 10 years your senior ways convince you that he probably doesn't learn from his mistakes. What happens next, however, is incredible - for realz. He apologizes and thanks you for helping him realize, this time around, that he was a tool. Basically, you were his savior and set him on a path to honest texting. You tell him all his wrongs. He accepts them. You fantasize about being canonized for your work with this desolate creature and know that future generations will be better off because of you.

This is closure - part fantasy and part canonization of the smitten. I suggest using the second paragraph and adding it to the end of your dating woes in order to create your own closure and make the best out of any less than stellar romantic entanglements.

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