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Dating In Early Recovery

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Feelings. We've gone out of our way for so many years to avoid them. By drink or by drug. Through sex or shopping. Money, gambling or bad relationships. Now the time has come in recovering from our addiction that we have to address those feelings and make better decisions for ourselves. All of this has been made made very clear to us. Some very wise people suggest you focus on yourself right now. Begin your healing process. Learn to love yourself first. Perhaps you know what they are saying is true and why. Yet some of us do not listen. Can any one of us say we had a healthy relationship? So why don't we listen? Again, I say it's the feelings. We like to avoid them, like the plague.

It helps to focus on someone's brand new way of seeing of us. It's sometimes better than the way we see ourselves. It makes us feel better. Almost high. We can then forget the awful truth of how we really feel. Alone. Ashamed. Empty. We just want to forget about those feelings. We are spiritually sick.

Except, strangely enough feelings get involved. That's when things start getting complicated. Now you're taking on someone else's feelings before you have learned the process your own. Use extra caution if you're dating in the rooms of recovery!! It can be uncomfortable to say the least, when things don't go well, it could also be fatal for two! That could be the reason you pick up again today. Why add to the list of possibilities?
Switching home groups. Changing fellowships. Looking for new support groups. This can be too much for someone with more than a year, let alone someone with less than a year who hasn't worked an honest 12 Step Program. If you have not even learned how to recover from your past, please tell me what made you think you could manage recreating it in the present? That is the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.

I have personally witnessed many "hook-ups" gone bad. Unfortunately, I haven't seen those people around to ask them what it was that sent them back out. This is a program of suggestions. These are suggestions that have been proven to save countless lives. Has everyone waited one year to date? No, probably not. Although it is just a suggestion that you wait at least a year before dating to save your life isn't it worth waiting to find out?

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