This week brings questions about the speed and limits of dating at 50+. Is it too much, too soon, too fast or a marathon of men versus women?
To Ms Larkin,
I’m a fan and know you can figure this one out. I’m too old for dating games. I’m just an all-American, divorced, 56 yr old male. I met a great gal four months ago. I thought we were soul mates, except for one thing: every date I feel like I’m being tested. She parades me in front of her friends; takes me to chick-flicks and museums. I can do anything once. I don’t play croquet and she 'urged’ me to play – I don’t swing dance- she does – we did that. I like to make her happy – but feel like I am jumpin through hoops. She says she isn’t testing me. I think she has a report card going.
Bobby Gee whiz
To Bobby Gee Whiz,
So you’ve met a potential soul mate, she takes you out of your comfort zone and you try totally new experiences. Kudos to you for stepping out of comfort and into a challenge. Best thing to do is to talk about how you are feeling. Let her know what makes you uncomfortable and start introducing her to your favorite past times. You're doing great! Gold stars for you, Bobby.
Dear Page,
I’m a 57 year old, single, man looking for a date for life. I have been around the block and over the hill. After 3+ years on Match.com and a hundred dates, I know I am interested in finding what I want, more than just sampling different women.
You’re right about the way we ‘buffet date’ and the candy store idea. I’m tired of that. Page, please tell women to stop playing games and that guys are working hard at this dating stuff.
Danny Boy Boston
Dear Danny Boy,
Thanks for the comments – women want to know what men are thinking. And yes, we all need to be a whole lot nicer to one another.
Hey, Page Larkin
Two months ago, I was inspired by your prompt and the TV ads and I signed up for EHarmony. I’ve had 20 dates with all kind of guys - some good, some bad. I’m bored with the long wait time. What do I do next?
Annie Houston
Hey, Annie Houston
Good for you for taking the plunge and trying your hand at Internet dating. It takes nerve and a sense of adventure to give it a whirl. Let’s fill in the blanks here: 20 dates in two months and not one keeper? What are the top three qualities you are looking for in a date? Remember, Prince Charming is already taken. Are you regulated by a "Must Have" list, or are you open to meeting men who don’t exactly match your picture perfect portait? For comparitive shopping, try a free site like Plenty of Fish or OKCupid.
Ms. Page Larkin,
Garry (65) and I met on Chemistry and we’ve been dating three weeks. He said he has a “deal breaker” list. He lives for H.A.I and Harbin Hot Springs and just now told me is semi-polyamorous. I’m an old-fashioned 50 and only date one guy at a time. We really dig one another. I’m not doing ‘shares’ with anyone. Ditch the dude or hang in?
Karly
Ms. Karly,
You sound like a woman who knows what she wants. Before jumping ship, talk to Garry and tell him your feelings about dating multiple partners. If you both are in that first blush of 'dating around' and exploring options, tell him. It is always a good idea to set perameters and discuss exactly what you are looking for in a date. Talk and talk some more before "ditching the dude".
Peace, Page
San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com . Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column -- click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.
Comments