Dating and relationship ease with the five E's

Dating and relationship ease – ah, the sound of balance in a world that is usually frenzied and can sometimes be demanding and competitive – and where people generally do not believe in lists, let alone in checking them twice (unless it’s nearing Christmas, that is). Sincere daters, however, are always in search of new tools and a new perspective to guide them in their search and P.K.'s list of the five E's just might be the answer. The five E's are not only tools that can be modified to fit any lifestyle, they are reminders of what people generally look for in a potential partner or mate – which ultimately can help ease stress and keep dating exciting.

So what exactly are the five E's? Ethics, enhance, empower, envelope and excitement. The five E's are designed to serve as reminders of what people generally look for in a potential partner, keeping in mind that how a person makes you feel inside when you are with them is what a person strives for. (Having a reminder, or mental checklist to refer to, is a great way to maintain a little focus since people can often get caught up in the moment with attraction, atmosphere, etc.)

So what exactly defines the five E's? When seeking out a potential new love interest, people generally seek out a person with a good balance in their own life (even when yours may seem slightly "off") someone who cares about life, has a good sense of who they are and who practices good ethics. People seek out a potential mate who challenges them to be better, to enhance their already wonderful life and who also brings positivity to the relationship. People generally look for a partner who will empower them to be inspired and feel alive, and who supports them in their goal-setting and pursuit for their every dream – and this is important – no matter what age.

People generally know they’ve found this special someone when, with just the thought of them, that feeling can envelope them to the point of generating a smile on their face creating a warm, safe feeling from head to toe (you know, that at-home feeling in their heart.) Some people believe it’s almost too fairytale-like, however, people who pay attention to how they feel when with someone can usually tell the difference between a crush or feeling something more; feeling safe or feeling good – paying strong attention to feeling "safe."

People generally seek out a mate that wants to share in their excitement of the world and that wants to waltz with them spontaneously on those unpaved paths of learning, growth and mystery; seeking out a love that when shared together or apart, the love is nothing short of awe-inspiring and a person who would do anything for them – from bringing them warm soup or garlic tea when ill to taking walks with them along the beach in the rain to answering the phone at 3 a.m. when they can’t sleep or just need to hear your voice – all without provocation. Remember, romanticism cannot be forced or willed, and if a person feels they are not getting something out of a partnership or something is missing, there is generally a reason.

Keeping in mind that love is in no way based on a checklist, nor is instinct a person’s only guide to finding love. Everyone is different and people may not know what they want and may have their own list, such as those who make a list of the five D’s for what they “don’t want” in a relationship: Disrespect, Dishonesty, Desperation, Deceitfulness and Discouragement. After all, doesn’t everyone seek out a potential dating partner or mate who is positive, supportive, happy (not a downer), someone who makes them laugh and who makes their heart smile, likes to try new things and who likes their quirks rather than who points out their faults?

The point being that people know what they want at various times but not always, and dating sometimes requires re-evaluation as time goes on. Dating is a time when folks are meant to take time to get to know each other – not a time where a stage is set to perform and play their best characters of the week. Dating is real life stuff, not time to hide behind electronics such as text and email instead of meeting and spending time together. And remember, you can’t possibly date more than one person and give dating a fair chance. Leave the phone in the car and get to know your date – spend time and communicate. And for goodness sake, don’t let someone else dictate how you are supposed to act and feel or how your relationships should be progressing but most importantly, be yourself, enjoy each other’s company and have fun.

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” –Elbert Hubbard

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