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Dating Advice - What to do when he disappears over the holidays

Julie Spira
Julie Spira
Cyber-Dating Expert

Dear Julie,

I recently started dating a few nice men where we have had about 3 or 4 dates that have gone well. I was sure that one of them would have asked me out for New Year's. It's less than a week away and they all seem to have disappeared. What should I do?

~ Renee

Dear Renee,

The holidays put too much pressure on a brand new relationship, or in your case just on daters in general. Some people would actually prefer to be alone rather than having that forced kiss at midnight on New Year's Eve. 

My suggestion is to do nothing. Many go on vacation during the holidays and others just don't want to have a date with pressure. Find some friends to spend the evening with, attend a party if you can, or simply go to the movies. Waiting around for a date may only make you feel worse. If someone asks you out at the last minute, you just may already be booked. Then again, you just might meet someone new at a party who will become number one on your date card.

~ Julie Spira

Julie Spira a dating coach and the author of the bestselling online dating book, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at

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  • Dan 5 years ago

    So, you say you had a few dates with a few men before the hoidays?
    The amount of info is not enough to determine why they went away over the holidays... Were you having sex with any of them yet? were any of them long term potential or just perhaps men that you would consider a fling with but nothing more... how many of the men were really interested in you long term? were they picking you up at home, were they taking you to fun places, paying for your meals? were they just men that you had a drink with now and then? if you were NOT having sex with them yet, then were any of them bringing up the subject of sex on the dates? anyway, good luck. I find that many women focus on what the man is not doing rather than look at their own behaviour in the dates with any particular man. Good luck