Dating a fixer-upper is like picking up a homeless animal. The difference is that a homeless animal can be trained and can adapt to new surroundings. Fixer-uppers rarely change, so it would be healthy and wise to steer clear of any interaction with them, no matter how badly you want to help them and make them fall in love with you.
The fixer-upper is a rare breed of human. They may be good looking, they may have a bank account, but underneath their dateable exterior a dark secret lurks. Each fixer-upper is different. Their dark secret could be that they don’t know how to operate a motor vehicle, they never graduated high school, they are in AA, or are unabashedly emotionally immature. Los Angeles is a treasure trove for humans with issues. It is best to be wary when snatching up a mate.
The intentions of someone who dates fixer-uppers may be pure. They may genuinely be interested in helping others. The problem with dating a fixer upper is that a relationship is a two way street. A man or woman who needs fixing can hardly love themselves, let alone another human. Therefore, dating a fixer upper may be a waste of good intentions. A relationship must evolve and grow as both humans involved grow. If one human’s rate of evolution is quicker than the others, problems may occur. One human becomes the parent in the relationship, the other remains the child. Relationships in which one person plays babysitter to a less mature partner rarely succeed. Both parties in a relationship must evolve at the same tempo. Needing a mother or a father is different than needing a mature adult lover.
If you currently feel like you are babysitting your lover instead of dating them, it may be time to move on. A person needs to be fully responsible for his existence in order to be loved, and in not taking responsibility for themselves their immaturity becomes apparent, especially in people reaching their 30’s. By age 30, you should be able to do the dishes, take out the trash, drive a motor vehicle, and have obtained some form of education without dragging your heels or having your lover nag you to get it done. These are personal mature adult responsibilities that you should master before jumping into a relationship. Remember, when you become mature enough to take responsibility for your own actions you can be truly responsible for loving another human in a mature adult relationship.
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