Everybody uses hearts to symbolize love during this time of year. If you think about it, a heart follows the same pattern that many things in nature follow. That pattern is a sort of mirror image of the same shape across an invisible line. What scientists call "bilateral," we might call "a reflection." So many times in love, we somehow assume that if we love somebody, we should be receiving perfect "mirror" reactions from that significant other. If it turns out that they miss cues or respond differently than we expected, we feel like things are falling apart, and perhaps that, that person isn't our "perfect," so called, "other half." I'm here to inform you that if you think of having a relationship as a continuous experiment to see if you can draw both sides of a heart perfectly even, then life is going to be exhausting! How about this? Think of Love, not as a heart, but a circle.
The great thing about taking somebody on a date is that you get a chance to impress that special person and you also get the chance to make romantic gestures that can be unexpected. This "Surprise!" element to life is what makes romance so fun, and what makes us feel that "draw" toward one another. Dating is the spark that sets our emotions a flutter. Our emotional reactions kick-start what we eventually grow to identify as Love.
When we know we love some one, it feels awesome. Loving, and being loved, makes you feel connected, and like you have "company." After the high emotions of the date have worn off, a type of love that does the simple task of making us feel secure, is just what we need until we feel the yearn for something unexpected, yet again. We should have courage enough to "let go" of our domesticating routine a little and allow our partner to, once again, be that "other" person we want to date.
In order to have your partner in life further from you, but not necessarily apart from you, you must actively choose to have activities that you both enjoy independently. If this means taking whole days or some evenings for each of you to work on a hobby of choice, then so be it. Taking the time to develop both of you as separate individuals is a routine that serves for the "bait" when you finally want to "draw in" the other person again. The sense of re-unification will have you both feeling like you are getting to know somebody "all over again," when you hear about their adventures as your significant "other." Letting go makes it perfect for you want to start your Cycle of Love up for one more round.
Once you realize that you have returned to the perfect spot in your relationship to ask your partner out on a date, you'll see that loving is a lot easier than trying to always look for somebody who perfectly reciprocates your gestures. What makes you different from your spouse or special person is just what brings you closer, and the good news is...that you get to do it over and over again!